I see it pretty often in memes, how people feel much more comfortable and confident when they talk over text, I think I’m pretty much the opposite of this.
I think it might be because you get more time to think about what you will say, but this doesn’t really help me because I end up overthinking what I’m going to say, something that almost never happens to me in real life.
14 comments
More time to compose your words, and it’s just easier. In another life, I used to love talking on the phone… and then voicemail became a thing.
I’d call a friend to chat, listen to the voicemail prompt kick in, and have to compose everything I’d been planning to say into a thirty second soundbite. And then listen to my voice as it was played back.
Compared to all that, texting is a breeze.
People want easy, quick, safe and noncommital. But does that sound like good connection criteria? It tells less than it seems. It works well for testing the waters with a list of people and weeding out some (not all) jerks. But you really do get out of interactions what you (and the other person) put in. I think most of what matters of social connection is totally invisible in texts. No wonder we’re all on “social” media without actually feeling social. It’s not, very.
As a habit, or at length, it also feeds the tendency to say “impress me or I’m gone” as if people are junk food. With that attitude you’ll learn to like sugar rush and go right past the one(s) that could have been a (good) life changer.
I find it easier to express myself that way! It feels like me. I actually have time to think about what it is I want to say. I don’t think too much into it though, no I’m a overthinking type way
Text is almost always better for me
I think for me it’s because the nervousness and lack of knowing what to say doesn’t present itself to the other person. I can take my time and let it come to me naturally, whereas in person if I’m nervous or overthinking it throws off the vibe entirely
Ever since becoming a mom, I find phone calls to be suuuuch an enormous hassle. The second my phone rings my kids immediately start fighting with each other, demanding attention, wanting snacks, etc etc. So now I’m trying to talk to this person on the phone, while also dealing with my loud children. It’s awful!!
And that’s not to mention that I’m almost always busy doing something– washing a sink of dishes, vacuuming, carrying a load of laundry up or down stairs… So when my phone rings, I’m forced to stop doing what I was in the middle of, to now devote all of my attention to this person on the other end of the phone. Thennnnn throw a couple of kids who immediately start fighting with each other the second they see me on a call?
Just a big ol’ NO THANK YOU to that!
Text me instead please, and I will get back to you when I have a minute.
• i can take time to formulate my thoughts and look things up if i forget specific words for what i want to say. Also have more time to process what they said to me.
• i’m not being interrupted mid sentence. So i can actually say what i want to say
• there is no time commitment. I can respont when i’m not busy.
• there is no outside noise which would make some sounds illegible or sound like different words.
• you can go back to what one said earlyer. I tend to remember more the emotion rather that exact words that were said, so it’s harder to concentrate on the words themselves during voice chat. Also at the end of the sentence i tend to forget what was said at the beginning of the sentence as my processing speed is slower than their talking speed.
Just about 2 months ago I was the same way and overthought about it, too. What or how to say certain things, afraid of getting carried away, noticing grammar errors, and time was a big one for me.
I felt as though just about everyone I communicated with was a speedy texter, while I was left in the dust. And at first I took it personally whenever people disengaged quite frequently because of it, or so I thought. People just do it whenever they want, and it didn’t long take for me to do it as well! I have my reasons and other people have theirs.
I believe my perspective wouldn’t have changed if it wasn’t for my *want* to connect with people when we couldn’t realistically meet face-to-face otherwise. I’d say it took a lot of practice to get here, and don’t really mind texting at all now. I feel slightly comfortable to text more than I ever had before 🙂
On calls i get nervous and will mix up my words.
On text i can think and say the correct thing.
My voice is shaky when im nervous and i just hate it.
On text i can fake being confident lol
Depends if you socialise better on the spot or need some time. Sometimes I’m better in person because if I was given time, I’d overthink the text and spiral. Other times, I’d say something I didn’t mean to in real life whereas in text I could’ve planned out the message first.
Texting also makes it harder to understand tone which can be hard if you rely on body language to help with that. Through voice, body etc, you can feel a lot more about how someone is feeling. Emojis help in text but not always.
I’d rather call people sometimes too because it seems like less effort than texting when I’m really tired, but that’s only if they’re someone I’ll never speak to again or a close friend.
I’m autistic and ADHD. When I type, I can actually string a coherent sentence together, because I’m not focused on looking at your eyes and sitting still and not looking at your eyes for TOO long and stop doing that with my hands and remembering where I was going with this and looking at your eyes and making facial expressions while you talk and figuring out what that noise was? What was that noise? Fire truck. Okay. Wait, you were speaking. Okay, focus on the words you’re saying and looking at your eyes and why are you telling me this and not looking at your eyes for TOO long…
I’m with you about texting. Plus my typing skills on the iPhone are pathetic! I prefer email when it requires a thoughtful response, details, explanations & similar to what Siukslinis_acc shared but for me I use that for email because as I shared I’m inept at texting.
I’m from the phone generation & I have the time to talk. But I’ve found those who text either don’t have time for a call or they grew up with texting.
I stutter a lot and have a lisp. Not very sexy, indeed.
In addition to what others have said I can just focus on what I’m saying and not have to worry about appropriate eyes contact, tone, and demeanor.