She (28f) broke up with me (27m) at the weekend because she thinks she’s dragging me down and she doesn’t know how she feels about me anymore, she’s numb to everything. She says I deserve better than someone like that.
Of course I was devastated. But I tried to tell her that she is in no way a burden on me, I can give her space, that I love her and want to be with her no matter what, but she wouldn’t believe me. Before she left I told her that I still love her despite this. We still have each other on social media and each others phone numbers.
Just over a month ago she got us to book a trip to Greece for September, so I thought relationship wise everything was great. A couple weeks ago we had a great date night, great sex, told each other we loved each other.
Our 1.5 year relationship has been amazing, but she slowly started to deteriorate in the last few months. She had her birth control implant of 4 years taken out a month ago, meaning her hormones are out of whack. She is lowering her antidepressant dosage to move onto a new type. She hates her job with a passion and it is making her extremely anxious and depressed. She has previous traumas from relationships where she was cheated on, giving her commitment issues.
I haven’t contacted her since she broke things off, but I plan to message her to see how she’s doing and let her know I’m here for her. I want to give her space and also demonstrate that I’m capable of being patient, while not leaving it too long that she thinks I hate her or don’t care.
Also, I want to give myself the best chance of reconciling with her. I won’t pressure her, but if the conversation goes really well, I may invite her out for a coffee. Thoughts? How long should I wait to text?
Tl;dr want to care for my depressed ex
1 comment
You shouldn’t text her. I know it sounds cold but she made the decision to leave you. You aren’t responsible for helping her and it’s important to let her figure it out on her own. Don’t go chasing her, let her be. The best thing you can do is start moving forward and focus on yourself. Take care of yourself and start to heal from her leaving you the way she did.