Hey!
I am socially awkward and live 3 minutes from my work and I usually take my lunch breaks at home by myself and I love it. I think I can actually take a break without having to be forced to talk about work with other co-workers… the downside is that I have few co-workers that are my “colleagues”…. some people say “Hey we miss you on our lunch break” and I say “Sorry but it is so practical for me to eat at home”… Am I being an asshole by choosing my own peace?
31 comments
Maybe not selfish but of course you distant yourself from them and in return they will not approach you sooner or later. Not necessarily because they dont like you but from their side it looks like you want to be left alone.
NTA If I lived just a few min from my work, there is no way I WOULD’NT go home for lunch. That would be awesome!
Lol dude choose your own peace. I live 5 min from home. My two options are: use a a shared microwave under dim flourecent lighting making smalltalk that’s forced with people I’m forced to spend 10 hours a day with OR go home eat lunch on my patio with my cat, play some video games and go back lol. Nothing wrong with that.
No, I drive 15 minutes one way on my break so I can actually cook a proper meal and have some peace and quiet. I’d rather spend my full hour in my car if it means I don’t have to fake being interested in my co-workers’ personal lives.
You are not being an asshole, be true to what *you* want to do, if you give in to their desired you’ll end up losing your valued time alone *and* you’ll be seen as a pushover.
It’s your break, use it when you need it!
Next time they say that say that going home works best for you but maybe suggest you’d be more than happy to go to a weekly happy hour after work or play billiards 🎱
I would also go home if my work was just 3 min away. That would be my dream! 🤣 Maybe you should join them once per week. Like on Fridays?
Nothing wrong with going home for lunch. I have several coworkers who live nearby and do the exact same. If they ever invite you out, doesn’t hurt to go once in a while 🙂
Work days are socially exhausting for some people, me included. Those ffew minutes spent alone is what recharge me. If you need the time, don’t be afraid to use it. I wish introvertedness and social anxiety wasn’t loaded with so much stigma. Some people need more alone time and that does nkt make them selfish or egotistical.
People are different.
Anyway good luck and take your sweet alone time!
I do the same thing, however no one ever called me out for it. Seems like your coworkers just want to bully you.
NTA. It’s really up to you. But eating lunch with your coworkers, at least occasionally, might be a good way to develop stronger relationships with them.
I personally don’t but I’ve noticed a majority of my coworkers eat lunch alone so it’s not really a problem for me.
You can do whatever you’d like, theres nothing wrong with it.
I will say, however, that people do stuff like this and then start breaking down on this sub a couple years later about how it’s so hard to make friends, they have nowhere to work on their social skills, none of their coworkers talk to them, they have no friends, etc.
No one here can tell you what to do. If you really like eating at home, go for it. Just something to keep in mind though.
They called you out on it because you’re the subject of their gossip- they’re prying for where you go in your lunch break! You’re NTA. They haven’t asked you to lunch either, it’s none of their business. Please don’t feel guilty
How nice that they say they miss you!
Just do your thing and maybe stay for lunch every now and then to show you don’t dislike them. You can also talk about how going home lets you recharge.
I eat at home on my lunch too and have done so for years. Wouldn’t change it for the world. Saves so much money and it’s recuperation time. Your colleagues can miss you if they want, absence makes the heart grow fonder. None of you are at work for any reason other than to get paid, it’s not like you go to work to have lunch with your co-workers.
Nope. Home is where the heart is.
If so inclined you could eat with coworkers every once in a while to gain a bit more non-work-contexted social standing, but here’s my hardline.
I work so I can make money and do what I want in the time I have free. If I get along with my coworkers? Awesome- makes work easier. If I make friends there? Neat!
But I work so I can make money. I’m not there to make friends; I already have a cadre of friends with whom I spend time when I’m in the snood. I don’t feel a need to socialize at work, though it can be fun.
Tldr: You’re fine. They don’t ask because it’s a problem behavior but because they may want to know you better. However, whether -you- want that is something you get to control.
Your coworkers are not your friends nor are they family. and if they are your friends, you’ll see them after work 🙂
NTA, I used to take my lunches in my car so I could eat in peace and listen to my audiobooks.
Is there any reason you don’t eat lunch with your co-workers?
I think you’re fine, but I’d also make a point of eating with them once a week. Its a very fine line between the convenience of eating at home and coming off as disliking your colleagues. You don’t need to be friends, but you do need to be friendly.
Not at all gurl!! You do you
definitely not selfish at all, but if you’re up for it it wouldnt hurt to spend time with your co-workers (if you want to, that is!!)
I love my coworkers & consider them friends. I eat lunch alone in my car & I love the quiet time. I might even get a nap in!
I don’t have the option off going home either. I work out a van all over the country in a squad. I still sit in my van, on my own whilst watching my YT. It’s your time not getting paid to do what you will.
Nta in the least. I don’t hate my coworkers, but breaks for me are to get away from the people I’m stuck with. I usually eat in my car or at the patio under a tree if it’s a nice day. I would absolutely eat at home if that were an option
You dont owe them your company if you don’t wanna give it. But if they’re nice you should try to reach out every now and then if you want ツ
At my old job I loved working with my coworkers but come lunch time I’d leave as quickly as possible before they could ask me if I wanted to join them. It was usually my only alone time for the day so I had to take advantage
No, I eat in my car for lunch. For starters, I like to watch my show or YouTube video in peace. Second, while I’m eating I don’t want to talk. And some people can’t take a hint. Even though I do that, my co workers converse with me still outside of our lunch break.
They care don’t fr. So you’re not being being a asshole or selfish.
Balance is everything. You don’t want to be known as antisocial at work.
Not selfish at all! You can always see them after work, on the weekends. Your break time is YOUR break time, you choose what to do with it. ❤️