As in your relationship is not close enough for them to be telling you all of this you feel they’re getting too close too quickly. But they’re a nice person and you like them, you don’t want them to fuck off, you just want them to slow down.
My issue is when I set a boundary I only know how to be aggressive and rude, like “I didn’t need to know all that about you.” “I don’t wanna talk about your personal issues.” “TMI bro.” While effective, they don’t exactly help the relationship.
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Sometimes people blab their inner turmoil and secrets to strangers…hello Reddit!
Seriously, sometimes people also trauma dump on friends and acquaintances, and yes, it can make for awkward situations even if you want to be supportive but aren’t really ready or willing to deep dive into a rather sticky and messy conversation.
It is completely acceptable to say something like:
“That must have been very difficult for you, but I am not prepared to have this conversation.”
“Hey I only have a couple of minutes, what do you need?”
“I don’t feel comfortable discussing this right now.”
“I don’t think this is an appropriate work conversation.”
Or redirect/change the conversation topic. Sometimes, you just have to distance yourself.
It is acceptable to set and maintain boundaries and it’s not aggressive or rude to enforce them.
One I always use is: “I’m not the right person to discuss this with” or “I’m not a mental health professional, I think a therapist can help you a lot with the things that are bothering you”. For me it helps, or you can try to deflect the conversation if they’re dumping it all on you. Something like: “Aside from all the nasty things, have you done anything fun? (If you know ask them about their hobbies etc or their partner/friend/family). To most people this is enough to make it clear that you do not want to talk about it