I’ve always had poor social skills growing up and it led me a difficult time when it came to making and retaining friends. As I grew, so did my wisdom. I slowly started to become aware of how oblivious I’ve been towards to unwritten social rules of society and how people secretly judge without correcting the “erring” behavior out of fear of coming out as “disrespectful.”
I have grown feelings of shame and embarrassment towards the things I said making me feel anxious about what I want to say. It was like walking on eggshells. After highschool, I grew resentful towards these people that lack the audacity to say what they really want to say. Instead they beat around the bush and use euphemisms towards people they predict to be feeble and inferior. They are too pusillanimous to divulge their personal opinions and will sacrifice honesty in the goal to appear “good” according to the standards of their culture. Not me. I value honesty and authenticity over feined goodness. Honesty and authenticity doesn’t receive much respect.
I still fail to retain platonic and romantic relationships out of my distaste towards mediocre “social rules.” I am more aware of these mediocre rules than ever and I could easily alter my behavior to please people and be more likable but that would contradict my values. Besides I also find it irritating and exhausting to do so. However, personal relationships are no longer of much importance. Most people are miserable and hold me down anyways. Unworthy of being in my inner circle.
With that being said, I now see the importance. I no longer feel resentment towards these people. I now understand that it is human nature and pursueding these incredulous people of their unscrupulous nature will only upset them. They are like animals that can not distinguish a threat from a non-threat. But like animals, these people can be herd. I’ve experimented a little and I have somewhat decent skills at pursueding people to do things for me with little effort. I’ve don’t this by speaking their language and triggering their emotions. The only barrier that gets in my way is my lack of social skills. It would behoove me if I learned these social skills. I still see the unwritten rules as mediocre, but if I could get better at, I could get more people to do things for me!
Tl;Dr: Although many unwritten social skills are infact mediocre, it is wise to learn them to get things you want.