I am single and sexually frustrated person (21F). Recently I’ve been into casual dating, and it ended in the bed. He was good, but I was not satisfied. I did not orgasm, but I am actually happy that he did and he was satisfied. However, I feel bad craving for more. Is there something wrong with me?

14 comments

  1. Why would something be wrong with you for wanting more when you didnt orgasm?

    Even if you DID orgasm, there is nothing wrong with wanting more sex. You just have been having very unsatisfying sex and/or have a high libido.

    That is normal.

  2. Man, our society has really fucked women over. I see these questions on an almost daily basis, and it makes me really sad.

    NO, there is nothing wrong with you. You deserve orgasms just as much as your partner does. If you were with a quality partner, he would have either ensured that you achieved orgasm after he finished, or made sure he took care of you first. Hell, our society talks up unreciprocated blowjobs like that’s expected. No! If your man wants a blowjob out of the blue, he should be down to GO down occasionally just to give you a present.

  4. It doesn’t sound like he was good. Lol.

    There is nothing wrong with you, lots of women have to accept not getting off in bed.

    Teach him how to get the job done

  6. Women are a lot less straight forward then men when it comes to orgasm, and unless you are fairly explicit about exactly what you need, it’s difficult for a man to figure it out the first go.

    A small percentage of women can achieve orgasm from straightforward vaginal intercourse, but most women need more work than that.

    This is the woman’s disadvantage in the hookup culture–most of you need to more-or-less train your partner for your needs.

    And since there’s such a diversity of needs, it’s not really possible to make a short course in “making a woman orgasm”.

    Couple that with the bit of stress of a “new” relationship, sometimes a little too much alcohol on the man’s part and a few other factors, and the chances of an orgasm happening on the first go-round are not very high.

    So no, nothing wrong with you, and nothing wrong with craving more.

  7. Hi, as 1spdstr pointed out, that’s normal. I want to add – unfortunately!

    Women have just as much right to satisfaction as men do. Yes it takes more work, but this supposed ‘work’ is fun. You aren’t wrong for desiring satisfaction. I hope you can find a good and enthusiastic counterplayer to catch your O.

  9. I don’t understand why you would be happy that he was satisfied when you were not. His pleasure is not as important as yours. In casual sex, each part must get their part of the deal. He got his, and you didn’t get yours. Learn how to communicate to your hook-ups what you need to get off, and if they don’t wish to give it to you, look for someone else. Respect yourself, and don’t settle for anything less.

  10. I will say this most men only care about getting off and only some will care about you getting off. When I was single I didn’t stop until the girl I was with was not just satisfied but in a state of ecstasy which can be achieved through communication. It also help that I was able to stay hard after multiple orgasms. Echoes your needs but make sure you find a guy that will stay for your needs and will help satisfy those. Never feel bad for craving sex. I crave sex a lot but my s.o. isn’t able to do anything because of medical reasons and it’s frustrating but I love the woman.

  11. *FACEPALM* GUYS!! what you doing!? Girls need orgasms too! stop being so selfish! Foreplay, Foreplay, FOREPLAY fucking do it! and do it longer then 5 minutes! Why is it so many guys know NOTHING about how a woman’s body works? I see this all the time! Makes my head freaking hurt. Google shit my guys and learn how women work. You want to have a woman keep having sex with you? Learn how to pleasure one. :/ Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

  12. Have other people satisfied you? It could be that you’re not comfortable enough to get off. It could be that he’s not going to be right for what you need. I realize you’re young and only you know how experienced you are but maybe you need to be realistic about where your expectations should be based on your experience level.

  13. Never feel bad for needing what you need! I hooked up with a new guy last night for the first time… but luckily I’m someone who gets off by PIV sex.

    We started making out with him on top of me and initially started sex in this position. But I know I need to get mine before I let them have theirs, so I quickly told him to let me be on top. I can control the motion and speed and things this way. I got off three times and then I got him off. Both parties were happy.

    But then when he initiated again like 10 mins later, I was still more than happy to oblige, but I was sleepy. So, not gonna lie, I was a pillow princess cause I was sleepy. 😂

  14. Nothing is wrong with you. You’re new and still learning how to communicate your needs.

    Try to look up advice from women who’ve been able to make casual dating work for them. They’ll tell you what actually worked.

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