My wife (31 F) and I (33 M) are separating. Why should I believe she’s committed to working on things?

4 comments

1. I would try counseling. So much shit happens in long term marriages and relationships. Emotional cheating is awful and heartbreaking but I personally see a way back.

2. Sorry you are here OP.

   ***While she was away she called me to tell me how unhappy she was, and how alone I had made her feel.***

   Rather crappy of her to call while away to tell you how she feels. This should have been in person. Was the guy she had the EA with on this trip? As the EA went on for more than a month with someone she is working with, she had opportunities for PA. Is the guy married? If so was his SO notified. What about HR? If she is showing true remorse and you both are willing to work through this then maybe with professional counseling, you can survive. Who is driving the move away from family and friends? You may need IC yourself to handle anger issues. But, listen to your gut. Probably more to this story than you know.

3. She not. She’s even telling you that she’s telling you what you want to hear. Probably what the counselor wanted to hear as well. So, zero credibility from her.

   You are in love with an ideal image of her from prior to your wedding. Things have changed. That version of her is obsolete. Reorient your emotions to the truth that she was cheating on you very recently. I’d be skeptical that they didn’t have sex over a month of saying sweet nothings. And I would question what happened during the years prior to the wedding. And you will never trust her for the rest of your life.

   Ask yourself whose side she is really on?

4. There is no reason for you to think that. Trust her actions rather than her words.