Hi! I (F18) have been talking to this guy (M24) and he’s truly the nicest guy I’ve met. He’s kind, caring, and he always listens to me when i ramble and compliments small things nobody ever has. I’m falling for him but I don’t know if the age gap is too weird? I’m scared to tell my family because my sister is 25F and my brothers are 21M so they may think he’s too old for me, but I feel as if we’re equals and he never undermines me or treats me like a child. I really like him but do y’all think it’s a weird age gap? I really need advice on this.
13 comments
He treats you nice but are you both interested in the same things.
Yes. If you were 30 and 30-36? Perhaps not. But you are just about to go out into the world of dating as and adult and he had been in it for 6 years. Wonder why he is looking to such a young person to date? Women his age won’t put up with something about him? You have vastly different experiences in life. I assume your sister wouldn’t be interested in dating a 19 year old. And, you are scared to tell your siblings because you know this is a weird age gap.
It IS a bit odd a 24 yo man would be interested in an 18 yo. But stranger things have happened. I’m assuming he doesn’t go out to bars and likes to drink, because all of that would exclude you. Also have you met in person yet (in a public place def!)? Until you spend one on one time with a person it’s too easy to hide idiosyncrasies and traits from another person. Therefore I’d challenge you’re actually “falling” for him. You literally don’t know him. Until you spend some real person time together I wouldn’t even consider this a real relationship.
Yes.
You’re at most a freshman in college. At 24 he could have been done with college and even a masters, think about it. He’s very immersed in the adult world, “big boy job”, he can go out and drink with he’s friends, something you can’t even join him in. You may have several hobbies and likes in common, even some values. But you’re not at the same stage in life which might not make for a sustainable long term relationship.
Edit to add, I’m a 25 year old woman. I have my own car in my name, a full time job with benefits, in graduate school, have travelled the world. Mu 18 year old and my 25 year old are two different people physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, romantically, sexually. Ask yourself why no woman his age are interested in him. You’re young, you’re starting college, explore with people who are in the same age bracket, stress free situations, figuring out what you like, what you don’t, what are some of your life goals, etc
“Half your age plus seven” is a good rule.
You two almost pass it, but not quite.
Be careful. Even if he does treat you like an equal, he’s still had 6 more years of experience and time to get his shit together.
If he has done more than stagnate since he was your age, this isn’t an even playing field.
If he hasn’t…that’s not great as far as character goes.
It’s up to you what risks you want to take. You’re likely to run into people who do think he’s too old for you. They may be right.
But this isn’t criminal, and you wouldn’t be the first person to bend the rules. If you want to do that and accept that it’ll get some flack, that’s your prerogative.
Yes. It’s weird. The years from 18 to 24 are incredibly formative and it’s a lot of change in not a lot of years….
When you come to be 24, you’d probably be repulsed by the thought of dating someone who’s 18.
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Im 24, and can’t fathom ever touching an 18 year old. It may not seem like it right now, but there is a huge maturity gap between the two. I’d be a hypocrite to say don’t go for it since I’m in a gap relationship as well (he’s 34), but be aware of red flags and take them at face value. Don’t justify and shitty or immature behavior that might arise out of him the more you get to know him
Yes, I think it’s too much.
It is, but as long as you two are doing fine, and you’re happy with everything, there’s really nothing wrong with it, one of my friends who just turned 18 recently, hooked up with a 25yr old dude, and it works so far for them, imo that won’t last, and they’ll just split paths, but that’s not that bad of a thing if you’re aware that it might not go perfectly
Go to college 1st! Yes, the age gap is an issue right now! Don’t be fooled during the honeymoon stage!
Just going to put it out there that sub was the wrong place to ask. There is something about this sub in particular that is extremely anti-age gap in any way and usually anything involvimg age gap or supporting it gets downvoted to shit, like I’m guessing this comment will.
That being said, I don’t think the age gap is too much. I personally would not date an 18 year old at 24, but it really varies case to case. It works for some people, and not others. The biggest concern would be that you’re in a position to be easily manipulated, whether that be emotionally, physically, or financially. I think just keep your eyes open, but I don’t see why it needs to end your relationship if it works for you guys. It’s entirely possible he’s a completely normal guy who just happens to have a ton common with you and it just happened.