How do you feel about it especially a relationship that’s long distance?
Are you all ok with it?

36 comments

  1. As a male i looked at porn when my Xs werent in the mood, shut me down or sick or something. Im not going to pressure you into sex if you dont want it but if i want it and theres porn, im going to take care of myself and you shouldnt have a problem with it. Now having said that. Some people get addicted to porn and it could become a problem in the relationship. If this happens i would say yes you should have a problem with it.

  3. I’m not but that’s just a boundary in our relationship, he’s not okay with it either. When we were long distance we would do spicy stuff through the phone or video.

  5. As long as I’m getting plenty of sex and feel emotionally connected, satisfied, needed, and wanted, I’m ok with it. As long as it’s not frequent and replacing me. I like to watch too, especially together when he’s home. Or watch the same video while having phone sex or FaceTime sex when one of us is traveling. Usually we watch us on video or home movies other couples have recorded while having sex. Produced porn turns us off and makes us laugh, fake tittles/doctored bodies and faked orgasms are sometimes hilarious. We have a nice video library of us that we recorded ourselves over the years.

  7. You don’t have to be okay with it. If it’s something that bothers you, you can bring it up as a boundary. Of course he can disagree and you two will have to come up with some compromise.

    IMO, because of how porn is used in our society, it would be best to come up with replacements for porn. Sending your own spicy videos or something. Masturbation is a lot easier with something visual.

  8. Well I mean I watch porn so…. I think that’s a private activity that every human being is entitled to do. Masturbation is normal and healthy, and as long as there’s no addiction then I think it’s a healthy activity. Also fun to do together

  9. I have some rules about porn for myself and yes my wife knows that I watch sometimes.

    1. I watch it infrequently.
    2. I never masturbate to it.
    3. I only watch content that is similar to what my wife and I do in the bedroom. We have a pretty spicy bedroom so this is absolutely not boring porn. I also prefer regular people porn, not a big fan of production porn.

    Using porn this way actually increases my desire for sex.

  10. Porn is completely banned. It is harmful in multiple ways, beyond our marriage, beyond our home.

    Please check out fightthenewdrug.org

  11. I have no problem with my husband viewing porn at all. I don’t partake cause I find it boring and my imagination is better, but it’s not a problem for me at all.

    He does have material of us, which I know he prefers to porn sites!

    Eta: this topic is brought up at least 3,000 times a day on this sub too. I’m sure you could find some from today to see what everyone’s opinions are on it. This sub is pretty anti-porn from what I’ve gathered.

  12. He doesn’t do it anymore. I told him how much it hurt me after we started dating and he hasn’t watched it since to my knowledge

  13. Personal preference for sure. My husband and I have always admitted to using it occasionally, so it’s something that neither of us mind much. As long as we have a happy and satisfied sex life and it doesn’t interfere with that.

  14. I have no problem with it tbh. But he also tries new things that he had to have learnt from something sooooooo. Pretty sure I’m winning lol. I don’t know if he knows, but I’ve def used his phone and pornhub showed up when I typed in p to search, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ not like I haven’t either. For us, it’s not a problem. For some people it will be. I know for sure of one of my close friends would have none of it in their relationship and would be very hurt if he was watching porn.

  15. We both watch occasionally both separate and together. It’s not an issue for us and we don’t neglect you each other. Long distance relationship I would assume he would be watching porn and I have no problem telling him I would be as well.

  17. Not a fan but also not naive enough to think he doesn’t watch it occasionally. I can’t control what he views on his own time while he touches his own body. I don’t bother thinking about it. I don’t want to know about it or see it.

    If we were long distance? Porn is a given.

  18. I had a real issue with porn when I was married to my first husband, because he watched it instead of having sex with me.

    I was not shy about wanting more sex, I initiated only to be told he wasn’t in the mood or he was too tired. I wore sexy lingerie, gave him massages, sent naughty emails (this was before text). Eight out of ten times, I got nothing, nada for my efforts.

    Then one day, after weeks of no sex, I came home on my lunch hour when he had the day off, hoping that after sleeping in and relaxing for a few hours, he would be up for a quickie. I found him watching porn and doing his thing. And I thought “Yay, perfect timing!” After all, obviously he was in the mood.

    This next bit still makes me cringe, even after more than 2 decades. He sort of hemmed and hawed, flustered and stammering, then finally said that sometimes he just wanted to get off without having to worry about my pleasure. I laughed and told him no worries, I’ll do all the work, and take full responsibility for my pleasure. Afterward, when we had both finished and were laying there catching our breath, he had the nerve to say that he felt used, like I just took what I wanted. Never mind that he was with me all the way.

    And I realized he actually preferred porn to sex with his wife, plain and simple.

    Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there. It was quite cathartic, getting that off my chest. Obviously, I left him, for that and a multitude of other reasons.

    Anyway, my current husband has a much healthier relationship with porn. He’s a once a day kind of guy, every morning like clockwork, it’s just part of his morning routine. And that’s ok, because when I offer up an alternative to his solitary pleasure, he immediately and ecstatically takes me up on the offer. I never play second fiddle to porn. Porn plays second fiddle to me.

  20. I watch more porn than my husband, I know I shouldn’t, but I have good times with my vibrator.

    I watch porn daily so I wouldn’t mind if he watched it at all.

  21. I’m fine with my hubs watching porn. I watch it too. Sometimes we watch together. Sometimes we make our own 😂

  23. My husband and I are long distance two weeks each month. I’m ok with porn use while I’m not there or erotica as it’s not taking over our life. We have had quite the struggle as he prefers pictures of a few particular models over any type of video. He looks the same ones up and saves their photos. The saving of the photos makes it too personal for me and feels like a betrayal. It has created this cycle of him repeating this action, me discovering it and getting hurt, confrontation, then stopping for a bit and repeat. I don’t have an answer but I’m trying to set a firmer boundary for myself in the relationship. Feel free to message me anytime about it.

  24. I wouldn’t like it. Mostly because I’m almost always willing to be intimate (higher libido out of the two of us). We are living “long distance” right now due to some medical issues with our child, but I’d still rather help him be intimate than have him fantasize over someone else.

  25. I think it is vile. It is not welcome in my home, ever, for any reason.

    He and I agreed on this 38 years ago.
    We still do.

  26. It’s something I don’t want to know about so I don’t talk about it. I mentioned to my husband a few times in the past I didn’t like it (very casually) but he never said “I won’t watch it then” and I didn’t want to push the issue so I never do. So…I would just rather not know.

  27. I watch it, but it’s better than cheating on her. She’s not interested in anything in the bedroom –
    so I have to take matters into my own hands…. 🙊

  28. I don’t care if he watches porn. I might watch it sometimes, but I much prefer reading erotica.

  29. I was an exotic dancer for years lol so idgaf about porn usage but if it takes away from intimacy, I’m out. Paying for porn is off the table and absolutely no chat rooms. He better stay emotionally and physically available to me and only me at this point if he’s into watching porn. I say this because I’m 15years in with two kids and hung those heels up long ago. No I didn’t meet him in the club. I met him at a normal job and I got laid off. He hated my job but he adjusted when he realized that I was my own bitch and I was loyal. I am also now the default parent and I am one that takes charge in many ways. I was the first born child out of three and he was the last born child out of four. It’s not a bad pairing. He is free to watch porn but it does weird me out how private he is about it. I watch porn sometimes too. I don’t care honestly. I am just wildly curious about what he watches but oh well. I know how money is spent for the most part, bills are paid, and if I say something is needed for the kids..there are no arguments because well… over my lifeless body will I back down over my kids’ needs haha. I’m kind of fierce 😬😅☠️. Porn is fine. If I have the d when I want the d then go on ahead if you can keep up with that shit past your mid thirties. I am also one that doesn’t frown upon polyamory or open marriages. It’s whatever works for the marriage. I am not insecure about my body or my roles. If he finds the time and energy for it lol…go for it my guy. He likes to stay up super late on the weekends and if he was immediately into a porn stash after we all sack out he’d drop like a sack of potatoes and miss out on his other hobbies lmao. We are tired people over here. Porn is fine in this house.

  30. My husband and I both watch porn. Sometimes, you just have to get off quickly. When we have sex we spend a lot of time connecting. It isn’t really the same thing. But it’s not like an every day occurrence or anything. It’s just kind of a need we both have to fulfill for ourselves from time to time.

  31. I have no issues with it.

    I have more issues with a long distance relationship.

  32. Op He is super lying. He has to be. You’re exhausted. If you’re doing all the housework and he is the type that plops down after work and leaves you to it…. He’s totally watching porn. Peep that search history and see how sparkling clean it is. They either delete everything or leave everything in the early stages of parenthood. I should know. You had kids somehow after all and he’s making some shit excuses. He better be helping around the house with those lies in his boxers 😂

  34. People who have an issue with porn…why are you supporting it by having a reddit account? Reddit has lots of porn, it competes with OFs.

  35. Major, major red flag. Not only is it cheating, It’s rather demoralizing to the wife. Its like saying Honey, I don’t find you attractive enough so I’m going to do watch this random lady have sex with anther guy and not give you the attention deserve.

  36. I wouldn’t mind if he was just watching it. What I mind is the talking sexual to other people while masturbating.

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