Therapy isn’t an option.

30 comments

  1. Start going to the gym – I’m in a similar position to you but I workout everyday. It’s the best therapy and I’m too tired these days to be lonely.

  2. A few things come to mind… Go to MeetUp.com find things you are interested in, get yourself to those activities. Or become a regular at a local coffee shop, even if you don’t drink coffee. Essentially, what I am saying is, put yourself in a place where you are going to meet people on a regular consistent basis. Friendship takes time. One will have many mis-starts but that is okay. Use each time as a learning experience, some folks just don’t want to talk & that’s OK, others will talk y’r head off. Eventually you’ll find a few friends centered around those activities, from there you can take those lessons elsewhere.

  3. Therapy is not an option or won’t choose to try therapy? There are choices and options for all people weather it’s perfect or not. The above is also a plus.

  4. You could try to go to activities where people have to interact.

    You could try volunteering. I’ve heard the people in elder homes tend to need people to talk with them. So you could volunteer there and by interacting with the elders there you might learn something and they will be happyer.

    Don’t expect results from the first time. It will take time to make the bonds. As you are lonely – be aware that you might be releasing everything in one go. That might repulse people. You need to moderate yourself. It’s like a starving person finally gets food and then overeats.

  5. Take up axe throwing and especially join a league. Through this community, I met some of the best people I could ever meet.

  6. It takes time to build relationships so don’t get frustrated along the way. Find a hobby group and consistently show up, I find that the easiest way to get to know people.

  7. Book clubs, Volunteering and jobs where you work in person, on a team, where communication is the crux

  8. I’ve been in your exact same position before, and yes, you can escape it. It’s not easy but it’s not that difficult either if you know what you’re doing.

    Working on you needs to be a priority. If you are a person that takes care of yourself, it’s much easier for other people to respect you and most importantly for you to feel good about yourself. I’m talking about basic stuff; shower everyday, take up some form of exercise, put a decent amount of effort into your appearance. This is just the starter pack but it will give you a huge confidence boost if you like the way you look and treat yourself.

    Now for the people part. I strongly recommend learning basic body language, general social mannerisms, and studying how people interact with each other. This can save some learning time but you still have to go out and talk to real people. Expose yourself to social situations, go to places where there’s lots of people. You can literally make friends anywhere. The more you do something, the better you get at it. Don’t give up if you don’t see progress; persistence is key. In five years your life might be better than you’ve ever imagined! I hope this provides some insight for you, this is just what personally helped me make more friends.

  9. Others here have good suggestions. I agree, being a regular in anything (so choose something you’re interested in and won’t mind/enjoy going often) makes you a friendly/approachable target which will help you build friendships. I used to be quite socially awkward too and would train my social skills by trying to make small talk with cashiers sales person etc. The more you interact with people, the better your skills. Now that I’m in my thirties, I actually have to cut down on friendships because friendships take work and with a husband and household to run, I can’t be spending 2-3 hours in a social setting (be it the gym or park) to socialise with people.

  11. I moved to a new country and the first thing I did was join a gym. I went to classes regularly and that’s how I made friends in a new country. I’m not white and the said country was really racist towards Muslims, despite that I made friends with all the people going to classes regularly. Outside gym people would give looks to me (an awkward, visibily autistic Muslim girl) in a group of white older women and men.

    Edit: if you’d like someone to talk to, you can dm me. I also made a lot of friends online from various platforms.

  13. Learn a new language and reading history. I found reading history especially the one that described the lifestyle, problems sprinkled with day-to-day anecdotes of the ancient civilizations, helpful and comforting, in the sense that in an age of very little advancements and access to knowledge, the people underwent similar problems!
    All in all, it helps!

  14. Volunteer, you will meet others and you feel less isolated. Your Church will always ask for help mine does. Any events or festivals will need volunteers. I have older retired friends that are active in their church,

  15. Whatever you choose to do being consistent is the key here. It may take time no matter your choice of interactions with people. Being consistent in your mannerisms and what you say to folks . By being consistent you are showing integrity. Something there is not, much of in the world today. One thing that will attract people is a smile, it may seem insignificant, but by always having a smile when people see you consistently is showing a sense of well-being. Try smiling no matter how you might feel inside. You will see a difference in how people perceive you. Another is try being cordial, please and thank you’s go a long way with people. Many people take others for granted, showing appreciation for others efforts is a way to gain acceptance. Another thing is kindness. You will be amazed at how you feel about yourself by doing a random act of kindness. It costs nothing to be kind. Just one random act of kindness a day without any expectation of anything in return shows you have a true heart. And it is so very simple. I will say that it has made a difference in my life. When people insist on doing something for me, my response is to ask them to pay it forward. Meaning if they see someone in need of assistance help them. Eventually you will see it will come back full circle.

    I hope these things help you to generate the kinds of people you wish to have in your life. Best wishes! 😀 It all starts with a smile. 😀

  16. Go to social events solo. Start with ones that are more controlled like movies, theater, and/or comedy shows. You don’t need to talk to anyone but it helps to know you can do it. Then maybe go to a class. Again it’s controlled but there will be more interaction. Always do things that you have an interest in. You’ll find your tribe if you keep at it.

  17. Broooo, vrchat saved me during covid. I go back on sometimes to practice my social skills some more

  18. Volunteering. You can focus on the projects, giving you a “safety shield” to hide behind while building social skills. Preferably you volunteer for something you actually believe in.

  19. I’d recommend getting into exercise that you can do solo. Running, hiking, biking, etc.

    It naturally releases those endorphins, and is a super easy way to connect with others. It also gives you such an easy gift of small talk and activity groups, like running or biking groups.

  21. Hi. My family owns a big farm/brewery and in the winter a local disc golf club sets up and plays inside on Wednesday nights. They play outside during the rest of the year. They are the nicest, rowdy, fun group of people you could imagine. They love having new players, and if you go up to anyone, especially the guys running the game, and tell them you’re new and kind of overwhelmed, they will pull you right in.

  22. Antidepressants & TCC.
    I would like to give you some good mystical answer but it is what worked for me.

  23. My friend, your situation is looks like mine when I was thirty. Well, after 5 year I started to having friends and family. Trust me I didn’t do anything special. I just keep myself simple and continue. Nobody knows the feature. Just do your routine, don’t try to stretch situation. Wish you best.

  26. Volunteer. Find something you are interested in. I did garden with the master gardeners and trail maintenance with a wilderness association.

  29. To be honest you are not old!!!! You have your whole life ahead of you. Go to the grocery store talk to someone there. Go to local high school sports event talk to people there. You have to out yourself out there. You would be surprise the people you meet.

  30. My personal experience: Islam: getting closer to Allah and asking for a happier and healthier life will lead you into the right path and guide you towards the right people. I wish you all the best my brother.
    P.S. please no negative comments, we are all trying to help another person. 🙂

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