This is the condensed version of a long story but I (23m) met this girl and we started hanging out and she said she was single by choice and wasn’t ready for a relationship, but said it could happen depending on how close we get. I fell in love while heartedly and I would do anything for this girl. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met and I feel panic at the thought of missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I took her with me on a work trip and it went great. I have demonstrated my ability to provide and have her on my phone bill after her old phone got destroyed, I help her financially and I don’t mind because I love her and want the best for her. I went on a different work trip and took her with me again, but on that trip she got very defensive and ended up surprise introducing me to her boyfriend who was an ex that kept calling her when we first started hanging out and she told him to stop calling her. We did things that led me to believe I had a chance such as full body massage skin to skin. Eventually they made up and I never knew but she got upset with the way I reacted to her bf because I didn’t talk much out of emotional distress, but talked to my best friend about it. She was upset and I apologized for my mistakes but she did say some hurtful things that I don’t know if she means or not. This bf has a criminal history of domestic abuse via restricting the flow of air/blood that I don’t know if she’s the victim of or not, they also broke up when we started hanging out because he had pictures of her sister in an album labeled for self pleasure, and she takes credit for him not using meth anymore. He lives in a halfway house and is 25, doesn’t have a phone or car and lives 2 hours away. She’s religious and he claims to “walk with god now”. He can’t provide for her and I would marry this girl. I have a stable job making decent money and I have plans to invest in ways to make a nice life for myself and ideally her. With her as a significant other I would have the motivation to take over the world yet this dude can’t even stop breaking the law. We got back to being on good terms and I can’t stop thinking about the whole situation and I just want to spend my life with her. I never wanted marriage or kids but she made me change my mind and honestly after developing these feelings I find other women less attractive. I could never raise a hand to her or cheat, in fact even at the worst of times I never even raised my voice with her I feel like I have endless patience with her but the way this has panned out tears me apart and I can’t tell her in fear of her getting upset. What do I do?
4 comments
I only read half of it. I only needed to read that much to be able to tell you: RUN. RUN FAST. RUN HARD. Never look back. And stop instantly falling in love with every girl who shows a stitch of interest in you.
The only way you can sway her now is of course sex. It will make her pretty much like physically attracted to you and she will like you a lot more than the other guy
You put her on a pedestal , a fantasty you created, you the nice guy or emotional tampon who showers her with money and attention and pamper her ego all the while she bangs her bf. Have some self respect she used you and cut her loose no forever friend zone.
I feel like if she is going back to a bf like that there could be some issues at play like trauma or something though if there isnt i dont think u wkuld want to be with a girl like that bro