I am intovert M19 and my extrovert gf F18, we are in a relationship for the last 4 months and I don’t know but I just seem to be obsessed with her. Whenever she isn’t around or ready to call, I just wait for her instead of doing anything productive. My gf spends 70% of her free time with me but whenever she gives someone else as much attention as me, I start feeling insanely jealous even if it is one of her female friends. My gf has a lot of friends and she tries balancing her dating life with her friends but I just don’t want that. I want her to treat me better, more important and prioritize me more than any of her friends. I just tend to notice small details sometimes, how she tends to cancel dates with me to hangout with her friends even though most times it’s the situation and not her. How she would get prettied up and buy new dress to hangout with her friends but would not put up the same effort before going out with me. She would always ask me to wait if she is on call with her bsf and again ask me to wait if her bsf is calling. It’s a female bsf. She gives her bsf a lot of attention and sometimes I just feel like he bsf of 6 yrs is more important to her than I am. I just never got the celebrity treatment people usually get at the beginning of dating and it just sucks tbh. She would story, make edits and do so much for friends but rarely for me. I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to her bsf so much but it’s just since I always put her on top of everyone and treat her in the most perfect way possible, doing things for her, always giving my 101%. She just never seems to be able to match my effort. She tries in her own ways and I love her so much for that but idk sometimes it just kind of hurts. Sometimes I feel like she treats me like convenience and takes me for granted while I exhaust myself trying to make her feel special everyday. I tried talking to her about it and she asked me not to be upset as she gives me a lot of her time already. Sometimes I just really get jealous by how much validation her bsf gets from her.
TLDR I get jealous by watching how much attention my gf gives to her bsf instead of me
2 comments
You seem overly obsessed with your girl friend. She should have more than just you as a support. You’re in your teens and have dated for four months. Your expectations of a relationship are not appropriate for the stage you’re at, if ever.
Please focus on maintaining or developing other healthy connections so your girlfriend is not pressured to be your only source of happiness and support. If you cannot maintain your own life you will resent her for not doing enough for you and she will feel exhausted by the pressure you’re putting on her.
No. That stuff shouldn’t bother you. Dial it back and sort yourself out.
Or next thing you know, you’ll be watching her and her new boyfriend through binoculars in a bush and hearing about how creepily obsessed you were.