What do you ladies mean by “Emotionally available”?

40 comments

1. No, it is not the same, though emotionally available men are usually more open to long-term relationships.

   It basically means what it sounds like: you are aware of whatever emotions/feelings/responses are going on inside your body and are willing/able to discuss how situations/thoughts may have triggered memories or other stuff you may need to process. You can talk about your anger or whatever emotion is coming up instead of only reacting to them.

   Tldr: emotionally available= willing to share your internal world with others

2. It means it they have been rejected and cannot believe it has anything to do with them, but rather all these guys are just not ’emotionally available.’

3. To me, emotionally available means they’re in a position, mentally, where they could consider someone with more emotional investment (aka long term relationship). It doesn’t mean that’s necessarily what they’re looking for, it just means they’re open to it

4. They’re looking for a man who’s in touch with his feelings and able to express them without blowing up or withdrawing immediately afterwards. It’s usually because they’re looking for a good stable partner for a long-term relationship, so if you’re looking for hookups… Probably wrong address.

5. If you can’t figure it out, you aren’t.

6. Even if you’re looking for FWB, then you gotta be a friend sometimes too! Emotionally available means that sometimes they’ll talk about stuff and you just gotta be some to listen to, not care or provide solutions, but sometimes just a shoulder.

7. Basically they mean no sociopaths and nobody on the spectrum

8. Capable of vulnerability, love, emotions.

9. It means not hung up on someone or something from the past that will hold you back from intimacy. I’d say most people talking about that are looking for more of a serious relationship and want someone who is as well.

10. To me, it means I’ve dealt with previous heart breaks and am open to sharing emotions/my vulnerability.

11. A man who feels his feelings and deals with them appropriately.

    Not blowing up or shutting down when upset, not acting like a child in disagreements, not immediately discounting anyone’s experiences because they differ from his own. Compassionate.

    I think on some level it also encompasses self care and responsibility. Not expecting a partner to mother you and clean up after you, etc.

    It’s not something you can fake (for long). It takes work. It’s why we (women) want men to go to therapy. Bc it’s exhausting being in a relationship with someone who behaves like a child emotionally.

    I hope this helps! It’s a great question to be asking ✨

12. It basically means a guy who can talk about and regulate his feelings.

13. They mean that they are looking for partners who are emotionally intelligent/articulate. Like if you are upset, you will be able to communicate clearly what is wrong, rather than getting into a hissy fit or just shutting down and ghosting. More and more women (and people in general) really value this in their partners; I know i do. Communication and being able to talk about emotions, negative and positive, are good skills to have.

    Being able to name the emotions you are feeling, knowing to take breaks during fights when tensions are rising, being able to see their POV, asking questions about how they feel, and being reasonable about how someone may be feeling, that sort of thing

14. Someone who is “emotionally unavailable” is what it sounds like — somebody who is closed off, who doesn’t share their (honest, innermost) feelings.

15. I’m assuming it means willing to listen to each others emotions experiences. Things you are happy about, things you are excited about, things you are angry about, and things you are sad about. Nobody wants a partner who will just ignore or run from you if you just want to vent about something neither of you can fix, so that’s my view of what that means.

    I of course can be wrong, since everyone has a different viewpoint, so feel free to correct me if I worded this poorly.

16. So basically not you

17. Emotionally intelligent- capable of self regulation, self introspection, effective communication, able to understand different points of view and respect boundaries

    Emotionally available- available for deeper emotional connection, beyond small talk at surface level. Willing to put effort into connection.

    In the dating scene yes I would say this means you’re available/ seeking deep and meaningful connections. Not causal encounters. If someone says they have been with partners or on dates with people who are “emotionally unavailable ” it typically means they didn’t have the time of day for the others feelings and emotional needs OR they were not interested in emotional connection and long term relationship.

    If you are only looking for casual dating or hook ups I’d avoid people looking for emotional availability.

18. It means they want someone open to forming an emotional bond with someone.

19. If it says not emotionally available it means they’re looking for hookups, if it says just emotionally available then that means they’re looking to date

20. You’re not talking to other girls and you’re over your ex

21. She belong to the streets.

22. not in contact with their ex, over their ex, ready to invest in a relationship, mutually exclusive, not entertaining others when exclusivity is agreed upon — emotionally available for you.

23. Emotionally unavailability I’ve experienced is a dude who isn’t over his ex and his feelings from the relationship/breakup could be issues preventing closeness/a relationship with you

    Example: last guy I dated didn’t want me to see me more than 1x a week because he said when he saw his ex a few times a week and got used to having her in his life so it stung more when she left. He didn’t heal from the breakup and carrier that one fear of getting close with him. That’s emotional unavailability in my eyes.

24. Just looking for someone that doesn’t have relationship hangups or is closed off to the idea of opening up to someone without trauma dumping.

    It’s basically looking for something more than fwb but not putting a defined goal on it.

25. Women normally think more with emotion. Men think more about providing for them or a family. With what stated, “emotionally available” doesn’t only men for them to be open themselves and to open up to the woman they are dating. But can also mean to try and understand them emotionally. If it is a married couple, with kids it’s to also understand (for thw lack of a better word) job at home is just as important as the job you make money.

26. For me it’s as simple as you’re actually ready to commit to a long term relationship. Like you’re over your ex, over your crush or whatever, and actually ready to put your emotions into a relationship with someone and consider the future with them

27. Reading the replies I get the feeling everyone has a different definition.

    Emotionally available means, to me, that they are present in the relationship, not dwelling on past relationships. I went out with a separated fellow (he wasn’t clear at the start); he spent a lot of time agonizing over what he did wrong in his last relationship. That’s fine, and worthwhile things to consider …on your own time, or hire a therapist.

    Don’t share that with your new relationship! If every date is “she did this and I did that and it made me so mad”, you are not emotionally available. In fact, it’s freaking annoying to your new date. I don’t want to hear how she squirts or how so and so did x thing. And don’t hum when you go down on her. Wtf is that anyway?..

28. Someone who isn’t hung up over their ex.

29. If you have to ask, you’re probable not.

30. Look up attachment styles. If you have an avoidant attachment style then you are typically emotionally unavailable. Having an anxious attachment style myself, I’ve dealt with these avoidants and anxious-avoidant traps. If I say emotionally available I would basically mean someone who isn’t an avoidant.

31. Able to engage emotionally. Able to have empathy, to give emotional support, to express your own emotions and receive an emotion based response in return.

32. As a man I see “emotionally available” as meaning, you are ready to open your heart and give it a go.
    I used to be clueless about what it ment until I was sidelined by someone I opened my heart to., too wide to get it damaged real good.
    I’ve been going on dates and I don’t feel sparks blah blah blah as my emotions are all locked in a box.
    I think it basically mean, your done with your ex or whatever, emotionally ready to go out and date.

33. Someone who’s emotionally available is someone who’s not going through their own mental health and/or life crisis. Recent breakup, death in the family, medical condition, severe depression/anxiety, job layoff, general life instability. Not to speak negatively of anyone going through something, we all do. When I think of all the difficult times in my life I have gone through, I would never consider myself available to date someone at those times because I was absolutely simply not in the mood to go on a date and get to know someone and share silly little memes when my world was upside down.

34. When I say I’m looking for someone who is “emotionally available,” I mean someone who is open to investing emotionally in and building a relationship with me…. Someone who, if there is connection, compatibility, and chemistry for both of us, he’s willing to risk his heart, make a commitment, and just go for it. I don’t want to waste my time or my heart on someone who, for whatever reason, isn’t capable of going there. Not hung up on an ex, not going to ghost bc he “caught feelings,” not someone in a perpetual state of FOMO, not preventing himself from opening up or getting close to a woman… someone available and capable of giving a relationship a shot, even if it’s scary.

35. Your edit still doesn’t clarify what the fuck do you mean by OLD

    I had 1000 tinder matches and I’m still clueless wtf you’re talking about

36. empathy

37. It literally means someone is open to “catching feelings” if/when that happens and won’t take that as a sign to run away.

38. it’s code for “I’m burnt out on situations”

39. Lol! That’s so funny! Girls looking for emotionally available people … until they have that 😆
    Shut up! You don’t want anything for to long 😁 the moment a guy (or girl) likes you the dram is gone 😆

40. I’m totally loving playing the new generation of girls! 😁 embracing their shallow stuff 😁 we get to fuck you and don’t have any emotional recourse 😁 cause you got no morals 😆 it’s great