In your experience, what are some subtle signs that someone does not respect you?

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1. When they talk over you.

2. When they try to one up you

3. No eye contact

4. The way they speak to you or look at you compared to their interactions with other people.

5. Taking advantage financially – for example a friend letting you pick up a bill and then not reciprocating the next time.

6. Ask for your opinion or advice and then ignore it – or do the opposite of the advice.

7. Not looking at you or paying attention to you when you’re talking

8. Lying to you and ghosting you , to only reach out when they want to never acknowledging that it’s rude to go ghost in the middle of a conversation for hours after texting back and fourth for like 5 minutes trying to make plans

9. If I’m not considered in decisions that affect me.

10. Lying to you. It shows that they don’t value you enough to give you factual intention or they think you’re dumb enough to believe their lies.

11. When they speak to you in a patronizing or condescending tone.

12. When they talk down to you, regularly provide unsolicited “advice,” or communicate their analysis of certain behaviors they don’t like to “help” you when you didn’t ask for their opinion/it was unprompted (aka your boundaries or differences with the person that they can’t trample over)

13. They constantly flake on plans

14. Eyerolling

15. Look at how they speak about you to other people, specifically those of the gender they are romantically interested in.

    I had a friend who was so supportive and kind when we were with all girls, but in front of a group of guys she would sometimes make “jokes” at my expense (of course no one noticed except me). I often brushed it off since no one saw an issue, but looking back now that we aren’t friends I realize that I would never introduce my friends that way.

16. Interrupting you while you are speaking or not giving you the opportunity to express your opinions or feelings.

    dismissing your ideas or feelings without considering them or belittling your contributions.

    Ignoring your boundaries.

    making decisions that affect you without consulting you or considering your input.

    showing a lack of interest in your well-being or not offering support during difficult times

17. Using your stuff and not caring how they treat it, or taking it without asking in the first place

18. When they are consistently very late without warning. They do not care about you or your time, period.

19. Being left out

20. When they consistently mispronounce your name despite being corrected.

    When they dismiss your idea, but think it’s a brilliant idea when it is rephrased by someone else.

21. Asking for my credentials when I’m speaking – are you a lawyer, are you an engineer – and not doing that to male coworker, taking their inputs as necessarily correct.

22. When they are rude then apologize then do it again

23. Your opinions are always questioned and made to feel insignificant.

24. Irritated by your presence. Nothing you say is correct.

25. I’ve learned that some people treat others with disrespect because they’re insecure and/or envious of the person(s) they are disrespecting.

    Common signs I have seen are cutting off others while they are speaking, one upping you, backhanded compliments, insults disguised as jokes, undermining you, manipulation, and gaslighting.

26. When you set a boundary with them they try to bulldoze or guilt trip you.

27. Invalidating your own lived experiences to belittle you.

28. When they keep insisting after you said no to something. You’ll tell them “I can’t afford to eat out/go on a trip” and they tell you that you are boring/a party pooper/life is too short to care about money. Even as a joke it basically means what it means and that is just rude and disrespectful.

29. When they frequently are surprised/shocked by your competence/ability/talent. But sprinkled in with annoyance

30. Making sly backhanded passive aggressive comments about me then playing dumb when I call them out for it is so disrespectful to me.

31. Gaslighting and invalidating; the fav statements “you’re too sensitive” “that didn’t happen at all”

32. When they say sorry for breaking a boundary but don’t change their behaviour afterwards

33. 1. Not listening to you at all. Not everyone has to agree on everything, but I mean like, not being willing to hear you out.
    2. Being rude then deflecting/making you the bad guy when you call them out on it.
    3. Being condescending/speaking down to you.
    4. Trying to pressure you into things you don’t really want to do.

    To name a few…

34. Every time you tell them a story about a time someone wronged you, they’ll always…ALWAYS try to defend the other person in the story, even if they don’t even know the other person. They’ll say things like: “Well maybe you were being rude to them somehow.”, “Are you sure that’s how it went?”, or, “I feel like you might be leaving something out, people don’t just wrong you like that for no reason.”.

35. When they give sly shots at you to put you down

36. They don’t remember the basic things about you and you see them on a regular to semi-regular basis

37. When they “tease” you in a manner that is not funny or productive. ESP. If your response is “huh”…. And they just cannot be on the same bandwidth as you. Be it at work or personally. They simply do not care about how you’re feeling, esp. at that moment or later.