Men of Reddit- what does loyalty in a relationship look like to you?

9 comments

1. I think loyalty is just the simple ole’ no cheating and no taking others’ sides over me, unless you feel like I’m out of line of course.

2. For me it’s mainly 2 things.

   1. Honesty: if you want something you tell it, if you are unhappy about something you say so. Even if it might hurt the other person. Honesty is better.

   For eg. My gf asked me to do something and I told her I didn’t really wanted to do that cause it sucked…but i told her I’d do it if it means a lot to her. So i did. It wasn’t a hard no for me but yeh..know she appreciates me doing it for her and she knows how I feel.

   2. Being there for eachother.

   Loyalty for me also means that if you really really need the other person. They will drop whatever they are doing and be there for you (within reason and depending on what’s going on).

3. One point I tend to disagree with women on is that I strongly feel that sexual abandonment is breaking faith on your promise of monogamy. It’s an odd situation where you’re not being disloyal technically, but I’m not feeling like you’re committed to me.

   At the very least, you’ll have to agree that taking long breaks on sex while holding me true to my promise of monogamy is unsustainable.

   If you ask me to only do that with you, I need to trust that you want to do that with me in the future. You saying you don’t want it in general because of stressors outside our relationship makes me feel like I’m not a priority to you, so I naturally emotionally detach and leave when it looks like it will be like that indefinitely.

4. Not banging your boss, coworkers, or neighbors is a start.

5. * **No cheating**

   This can take either the forms of physical or emotional. Both are a big no-no. However, emotional cheating is far more common than physical in my experience.

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   * **Honesty/Courage**

   It takes courage to tell someone you love/care about that they are wrong, especially when it might lead to an argument. Blindly agreeing with your partner when you know they are wrong is stupid and only encourages shitty thought processes and delays the discussion as to why you feel they are in the wrong.

   Loyalty is being honest. About everything. Is your partner getting out of control in some manner? Tell them. Challenge them. The first example that comes to mind is physical health. I expect my soon-to-be wife to tell me if she is ever concerned with my physical welfare (if I am getting fat), just as she knows I’ll do the same for her.

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   To care about someone is to willingly and purposefully act in situations where you know sometimes your partner won’t appreciate you at that moment. Still, if they are the right person for you, they will understand what you do later.

6. Loyalty is when I say, “Hey, I think you were being flirtatious with that man and it made me uncomfortable.”

   And they *don’t* say, “Oh my God. Toxic masculinity. You are trying to control me. That’s not what I was doing. Why does it even matter? So what if I did? It’s harmless. I don’t know why there is a used condom underneath my bed. Must be old.”

7. No cheating, no monkey branching, not keeping bridges with an ex without informing me (especially when she says that ex was abusive)

8. Loyalty in marriage, making a decision amongst us, not us and her mom.

9. Genuinely looking out for each other through the good, bad and ugly.