So I’ve been texting someone for 3 and a half weeks texting daily. We had a call that lasted two hours before we met up. We met up a couple days ago and it went really well. I was making her laugh it wasn’t awkward she seemed into me. After an hour leaving the date she’s texting me and asking me to meet up again. after the date texting me more sending me pictures of her day and was messaging me loads. Until today and yesterday. Her replies slowed down suddenly. She’s been online and I’ve seen she’s been online on apps we matched on . She still said she wants to see me early next week but it seems she’s lost interest. I know it was only one date but I would be lying if this hasn’t stung a bit. I can see where this is going so what’s the way I move on quick?
10 comments
[deleted]
Something could’ve come up, she could be busy at work/in her personal life. I wouldn’t jump ship immediately, especially if she’d like to see you again. I’d wait until you see her again, if she’s uninterested in person then move on
You lost your Mojo, dont try to run from it. Feel it out and embrace that your just not feeling yourself at the moment. Slowly start to do things that overall enhance your mood or favored traits and eventually it becomes second nature and you’ll be back to feeling like you can function.
I’m confused. Did you set up the next date or not?
You’re overthinking this.
One mistake many people (myself included) make is overthinking things to the point where we get preconceived ideas about what the other person is thinking or feeling.
Do yourself a favor and take a step back, take a big mental breath, and just let things go as they may. If she’s slowing contact, she might have other things going on in her life that has her busy.
And if she does ghost you, there are endless reasons why it might happen. Maybe you remind her of an ex, maybe she had a bad day and that’s her way of resolving it, maybe you said/did something that triggered a bad memory.
At the end of the day, we can’t control other people, just ourselves. So try to slow down your racing mind and relax. Anxiety is always going to be your number one enemy on a date.
You move on by having honest conversations with yourself concerning sorting out your feelings in a healthy manner while filling up your time doing constructive things to build yourself up. Most people say go to the gym, but that can also be learn new skills, hobbies, or interact with others in a sporting sense, but anything you do should be something you have an interest in that will pull your focus on improving yourself and not wallowing in a depressive state of mind. Work to become better while you work through your emotions and feelings, it’s the basic ideology behind stoicism. I would also read a book called “the daily stoic” and “mediations by Marcus Aurelius” to help you engage in your own healing process.
Being ghosted is no big deal. Just have fun with the relationship for what it is. She’s a friend that’s really into you so far. She cut comms for a moment, so what? Just go keep living your life, meeting new friends, practicing your favorite hobbies. Work on your own self improvement, and when you’re thinking about her and wanting to chill, just tell her “hey I was doing so-and-so and I thought about you, and I wanted to hang out again and talk about some more serious stuff. But serious face to face stuff.”
If you’re interested in actually dating exclusively tell her. Don’t pressure her, but let her know that if she’s interested in more than friendship, you’re already 10 steps ahead of her in that regard. If she accepts, start planning stuff to do together and seduce her. I think logically once she’s your girlfriend it’s perfectly acceptable to romance and seduce your girlfriend, and really start testing out eachothers compatibilities. But you have to stay in the moment and enjoy the present. Don’t worry too much about where it’s headed, instead try to enjoy what you have right in front of you in the moment.
That’s my recommendation anyway. But it takes considerable effort to be that type of boyfriend, so make sure it’s something you actually want to do.
Edit: if she doesn’t accept, then at least you know where you stand. You’re just friends, so it’s cool for you to go look elsewhere. And that might mean less attention for her, because someone else might come along that wants more than just friendship. That lady will probably demand any spare attention you are willing to give out, which will leave less to go to the homies. But the homies always understand that our ladies come first. Otherwise they aren’t your real homies.
[deleted]
This’ll sound like I’m joking but I’m not bro.
Lean in here and come closer okay?
You listening? Cool! Repeat after me.
“Fuck it” lol working 100% of the time.
Dude, she said she wants to meet up with you next week. She might have just gotten too busy to constantly be sending pics all the time.
Stop overthinking and find something better to do than playing “she loves me, she loves me not” in your head constantly.