I’ve (24f) recently started exploring different sides to my sexuality, especially around stuff I’ve been ashamed about in the past.
I have noticed I’ve become very turned on by being super submissive, such as the idea of being controlled, used, punished, but also cared for and looked after. I’ve noticed my libido is really high and it’s hard to not think about sex as soon as I meet a guy. I’m really into the daddy Dom vibe and even though I know most guys do tend to like to take control in the bedroom, I’m worried when I’m dating if I’ll be too intense and overwhelm the guy by being open about my kinks.
I’ve been going on some first dates and I want to slowly work up to this but I’m wondering if guys would consider this too intense or they would be turned on by it. I feel like there’s a fine line between a girl saying she likes to be choked in the bedroom or spanked, and then a girl going full on sub where she wants higher intensity of kink
8 comments
Depends on the guy, but yeah.
Honestly, as kink relies only trust. I would mention it until you Trust said person. You can definitely introduce light kinky things unto sex but don’t let them control anything until you trust them
It depends on the person really. I’m someone who doesn’t want to do anything sexual with anyone until I am in an exclusive relationship with them, so talking about sex on the first few dates would be really uncomfortable for me personally. However, there are also people who sleep together after the first date or after just meeting at a bar, so the spectrum of reactions you could get is so vast.
It sounds like you would rather wait until at least a few dates and that you have been working on that, so I would say bring it up in a casual manner whenever you are comfortable. Something simple like, “When do you feel most comfortable sleeping with a new partner?” It doesn’t reveal much about your kinks, but it sets the stage for what they are willing to engage in at this point in the relationship. Based on their response, you can decide where its going from there.
It depends, try to bring it up in conversations and see his reaction and take it from there.
Prob best to have some conversations and mention you have things you want to try. Then gauge reaction.
Really just be yourself and don’t actually speak of it too soon. So guys that are, at least, more geared towards D/S will pick up cues from your general interactions together. It’s like the difference between a thin lace Velcro choker compared to a full on collar. One singles a introduction or sign of something and the other is a bold right now in your face statement.
No. Personally, i don’t like it. It’s unbalanced, hyperfeminine, and cliche. I think normal, healthy guys also like being surprised, or “”tortured” as well. Let’s put it this way, lol. When I have sex I want a partner. A capable, intelligent, loving woman. Not a dog, a daughter, or whatever. I’ve always seen this type of behavior as the female equivalent of the macho monke in men. Look at successful intelligent men such as musk, for example.. do you think he’s a hyper dom? Life is tough enough already, so it’s very pleasing to go to bed with someone who makes you feel comfortable enough to relax a bit and forget the role you already play in day to day life. My humble opinion. There are some other genuinely interesting kinks out there.
If you need a kinky partner it may help to try apps specifically for kinksters like Feeld, or irl kink meet-ups.
I’m submissive and I met my partner irl via dancing *but* we were platonic friends first and had spoken very candidly with each other about sex and sexuality before doing it, so we both knew what to expect.