What must happen for men to forgive bad things that were said in the heat of the moment during an argument?

33 comments

1. It depends on what you said, why you said it, what the argument was about, and what your relationship is like.

2. I mean it’s one thing for someone to say something in anger, it’s another for them to have an aspie level meltdown like I see you posted about OP. Just mental health issues like that are a sort of crapshoot and need a lot of effort on your end to help make things work.

3. I never forget.

4. For men? Not much. Move forward and don’t do it again.

   For women? Idk, never figured it out

5. I will not forget. I might forgive, depending how bad it is. But this could change my general opinion about you for some time.

6. Nothing lol. Maybe not breakup worthy but you never forgive or forget. But you must know your woman. I know mines does this so i just ignore it. She knows she can’t get to me so she tries to say bad things that she thinks will.

7. Something my father taught me when I was a boy and I’ve never forgotten or breached this.

   “People may forgive you for what you may say but they will never forget how it made them feel in the moment.”

   Name calling is simply unacceptable. Berating people is foolish and impotent. If one unable to express themselves in a reasonable manner, it’s definitely a ugly shortcoming on their part. I’m not saying we can’t be angry or frustrated however our response doesn’t need to be mean. Correcting someone isn’t supposed to be punishment.

8. In most cases, it’s either already forgiven, or the answer in nothing.

   There are lot of things which you cannot just fix.

9. Yo, my bad about calling a sloth that one time

   Don’t worry about it, I forgot that even happened

   Guys are easy

10. This is a binary issue. Either it’s branded into their psyche forever or water under the bridge within 5 minutes. If sticks then there is nothing you can do about it, the damage is done and it’s there forever.

11. I don’t say things hurtful you know argument unless I actually mean them, I expect the same with others so I wouldn’t forgive.

12. Depends what’s it about. There are thing that can’t be forgiven (cheating).

13. Nothing. That said when a boy matures into a man he learns to get over the emotion while still keeping the lesson

14. Depends if the woman is worth forgiving tbh

15. Be very careful speaking in anger like that.

    Some of us will not forget, in many times we don’t forgive either.

    Hurtful words said, even in the heat of the moment, that are said just to hurt are unforgivable imho.

16. A proper apology and if its a pattern there must also be a genuine effort to improve anger management as well.

17. An apology, then (this is very important), not being an asshole anymore.

18. Only fools and weaklings forgive.

    Forgiveness grants permission to do it again.

19. You can forgive and move on.

    But I, can rarely forget the bad (hurtful) things that have been said to me during a relationship argument.

20. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Maybe, don’t explode on the next guy? This is a you problem. Get a handle on your own behavior.

21. The heat of the moment is when you reveal exactly who you are. I don’t want someone who is going to turn into someone else when I need them most.

22. An apology letter, nice homemade cake and $100 in cash or Wolt gift cards.

23. Usually like 10 to 50 minutes have to pass for this stuff to be forgotten, depend on the boob amount shown in the process. Saying you’re sorry works too.
    But be careful, mentioning the stuff while cold headed might fause serious flashbacks.

24. Bad things “that were said”. This destroyed my relationship. She would say the most terrible things when she was angry……(that I guess she didn’t mean but…..)I left 8 years ago but they still echo in my ears. She was always sorry until she did it again the next time only worse.

25. I will never forget, just forgive. But if it’s a pattern, then it becomes a problem. It’s very toxic and immature to purposely try and hurt a SO’s feelings because you may be losing an argument.

26. Depends on what it is.

    Sometimes “I’m sorry I said such and such. ” If enough.

    Sometimes you’ve got to be more through in your self assessment.

    I’m sorry I said this and that. It’s just that when x happens I become y. This is a character flaw I’m trying to get rid of.

27. Depends what was said; it’s always possible there is no going back

28. For men, at least for me, just apologise or pretend it didn’t happen. We are often called so many things that we either forget or forgive anything.

29. Growing as a person so that you don’t keep pulling the same shit over & over would help.

    It’s a lot easier to forgive someone for something they *did* vs something they are gonna do again.

30. It depends. Was it two guys blowing off steam, or was a line crossed?

31. Step one is don’t blame what you said on the “heat of the moment.” It isn’t the moment’s fault and any form of sidestepping blame is a clear indicator that you’re not even trying to address the problem head-on.

    Look inside yourself, ask yourself why you would say what you did, and if you’re truly regretful, apologize and tell him what you’re doing to fix the behavior that lead to saying what you said.

32. things said when mad or drunk at 99.9999 % of the time true.

    it would be really hard to forgive, and impossible to forget.

33. I need to sleep on it and it will be forgotten. I likely will blame myself for it though