I don’t know if this is a good place to talk about some mental health issues but I suppose part of them relate to my lack of social skills.
Throughout my life I only had a best friend for about 2 years, and even then I wasn’t his best friend. Not that I should have been but I was never that person for anyone. I am 19 and I never dat3d anyone, not even a single dat3 (although I live in a religious country)
All the people I know are from school and college and I don’t think that they have a problem with me hanging around them but non of them ever invites me anywhere unless I am there when they are making plans. I don’t know anyone they know outside of college although they tell me stories about how they went out with each other’s friends.
I know no one really likes me but I don’t feel like that is my problem, idc what people think about me but I just want some friends, someone I can talk to for no reason, I feel like I can’t randomly message anyone. I want to go out and have fun.
I am kinda weird and I could come out as mean cause I either don’t talk at all or just say something sarcastic, even the first weeks at college I felt like I found a new best friend but he just met someone more likeable and cooler and i saw him be closer to a lot of other people and talk to me less often. Some people don’t even say hello to me in classes.
I always try to keep in touch and text or call people at any chance given but I don’t remember the last time someone reached out to me first.
Except one guy who lives in another city now and everytime he comes back he tries to get 4 of us to meet but even though I know this guy for 7 years he has never introduced me to anyone he knows.
Now that I think about it I haven’t done that too but… Well the reason is I don’t hangout with anyone
I don’t think about myself as a bad person, I am just not likeable, idk how to talk to new people or what to say when I want to text someone. Hell idk how to do this stuff with people ik.
2 comments
I don’t think that people don’t like you, or that anything is your fault…there is nothing wrong with being weird, all the best people I know are weird. But you sound like you are also a little shy and could use some help in the self-confidence department. I saw you mention living in a religous county, it made me wonder if it’s also a very small community, where there are only so many people your age to hang out with? I had that issue growing up, my graduating class had 31 students, and I was shy, weird and awkward and remember feeling much the same way you described, except I was bullied a lot in grade school and middle school. I never really got invited places and was overlooked a lot. Until i got my drivers license and was able to go to different towns and meet different people. I started gaining some self confidence and inviting those friends to do things and they then they started coming to my town to see me. Some people just won’t or don’t think about inviting someone to do things if that person hasn’t invited them anywhere either. It could all just be miscommunication, if you are comfortable enough with the one friend, maybe try asking him why you haven’t met his other friends or just put it out there like, “Hey, next time you a so-and-so get together, give me a call, I would love to meet them” or “Hey, the next time you guys get together would you mind if I tagged along, I need to do something different and meet some new people.” And if you still feel like the odd man out, try a change of scenery, a different group of people, a different town where they dont know you and you can find your confidence. You are still quite young and have a lot of time to find your people, dont get discouraged.
It will never ever gonna be your fault.