I (21F) met this guy (24M) via bumble 2 months ago and we have had 14 dates so far. When we sleep together, he does try to initiate sex but I wasnt ready yet and he respected that. We had sex once (4th date) but it was so awkward to me (im slowly trying to unlearn the shame my parents told me about sex). We sleep in the same bed tho after every date.
When we first met he would take 4ish hours to reply to texts. Now he takes around 24+h. Last date was over a week ago. Tbh I liked him at the beginning but i am starting to lose interest as we see each other less and as he takes forever to reply.
**i am very confused tbh as he seems to be losing interest but in the same time i texted him to ask when he is next free and he said “friday, saturday and sunday”. Which is a lot of free time for someone you’re theoretically not interested in. When i see him, I plan to ask him if he lost interest.. Is this a bad idea? Im tired of games…**
TL;DR: can i ask him straight up if he lost interest?
5 comments
Asking in negatives is rarely a good idea; it implies that you think you know how they’re feeling & expect them to justify behavior they may not even be aware of themselves doing.
So, not “are you losing interest?” but “how are you feeling about us?“
If you’re looking for something serious/commitment, communicate that and ask where he’s at.
Asking “have you lost interest in me” is a bad idea. Don’t ask people questions with negative answers – there’s no good answer you can possibly get.
If you really want to address it, I’d instead go for something like “How do you think this is going?”
OP has repeatedly been posting and deleting this same thing for well over a month now. She doesn’t actually want advice.
* https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/11yu6e9/has_he_24m_lost_interest_how_do_i_21f_ask_him/
* https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/11r2qwg/he_takes_1_whole_day_to_reply_its_making_me_lose/
* https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/11iuniu/the_things_he_told_me_drunk_do_they_mean_anything/
I swear you posted this exact same question a few weeks ago.
You’ve dated 14 times, you had sex on the 4th date but cut him off after that. Now you sleep together, but you’re not fooling around.
Yeah, he’s probably losing interest. He’s had a taste of the water from the well, now he’s sleeping in the desert and dying of thirst. You’ve slept “after every date” since then, 10+ times. Do you intend on opening back up physically in the relationship? Be prepared to answer that question when he answers your inquiry about losing interest – because that is no doubt a big part of his answer he’ll give.
Please stop posting this and just ask him.