About 1.5 months ago, I (26M), started dating a girl (25M) very casual.
We were both open from the beginning that we see others too and explore our choices.
Date by date, we were having so much fun and the chemistry was there, something I didn’t feel for at least 2 years after my breakup.
She started getting a little attached with me and asked me what are my intentions for her.
I stopped seeing others already and want to take the next step with her but I have some trust issues from my last relationship.
I am very cautious with her, I don’t open up at all about my intentions because I am worried I will get hurt.
Last week that we had a date we spoke a bit more and she asked my again what do I want from her and she said she will keep exploring her options until she gets a clear answer.
I told her we will talk about it after my trip of this week, from which I come back by the end of the week.
She texts me daily and I text her too but I feel very irritated by the fact that she might be dating others in the meanwhile, something that we were both completely aware of from the beginning and with this thought I can’t really open up to her.
How would you handle this ?
tl;dr :
We started dating and were pretty open about seeing others too but now instanties getting feelings and kinda irritates me that she might be still dating others and at the same time asking about my intentions
3 comments
It sounds like she is trying to get an idea of your intentions so she knows where you stand as well. It’s perfectly fair for her to keep exploring her options if you aren’t communicating what you want i.e being exclusive. I know you’re scared to fully open up to her, but you cannot just expect her to be exclusive to you when you aren’t having that conversation with her. Feel free to DM me if you need to talk about this more
If you keep (not) acting out of fear, you’re going to lose her for sure. Get your courage together for 1 minutes and just tell her the truth. You want to be exclusive with her. This is a good thing!!
Your actions make it seem like you don’t want to be exclusive and that’s going to push her away if that’s what she’s looking for. Stop trying to be cool and tell her what you want.