edit: i see vet isn’t well tolerated on reddit, so by vet i mean “decide if this girl is right for me”? what should i learn about her in the early stages of a relationship that could be a red flag? i have zero dating experience.
18M talking to 18F. this is my first “real” attempt at a relationship. how deep should conversations go? second date specifically. what sort of questions should i ask to determine if this person is right for me? what’s too far in a second date?
other related questions, when do i start buying gifts and how often should they be? is it weird to not be constantly texting all the time? how do i approach this if she seems to text back fairly quick consistently? i suck at conversations so i like to just keep it at the minimum.
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Hiii I’m a 21F. I’ve been courted or vetted by many men (just to lyk my experience).
So the first think you should understand is the mind of a female. We are complex humans. We were literally physically made to be complex with our reproductive system and hormones etc. Reason why I brought this up is becuz you need to know every girl is different and complex to avoid resentment towards women. Thats what happens to a lot of men that just can be successful with women. They start to hate them becuz they don’t understand them.
Next, conversations. First date should be lighthearted but this is your chance to get to know this person. About their life, their hobbies, the people they usually hang around, jokes, siblings, family, who’s your favorite person, do you look up to someone.
These are all important questions that tell you something about her on a deeper scope.
The second date, you can start deep conversations about parental traumas, people y’all don’t like, red flags, and boundaries. What are y’all expecting from this relationship? These are questions you need to ask as a man because men are logical. The more you understand a situation the more likely you will act. So if she told you what she wants is you, you better show her, I’m the best guy out here for you. Because believe me, competition is real for men and women. And Mr. Steal your girl is a real thing. A women will leave you if you ain’t putting your affection out there because that’s how their mind works. EMOTIONS.
It’s important for you to be clear with her that you want her to be yours. A women NEEDS that reassurance to feel safe.
There’s so much advice I could give you. But I suppose the most important is to make sure she feels safe at all times. I mean physically, emotionally and mentally. Don’t talk down on her interest or make her feel unsafe to unpack. Your goal always is to make her feel safe to be around you. Then eventually you will be her favorite person lol. Also follow her flow. If she doesn’t want to talk about something, that is completely fine, talk about the next topic. Respect her space. Do not take it personal if she didn’t share something with you. A lot of women unfortunately do have trauma related to men so be considerate of her feelings.