My anxiety and over-thinking has been getting worse the past couple of months and I’m stopping that. I’m very disciplined and get stuff done so give me your most rigorous, extreme advice to get to a point where I’m comfortable speaking to anybody, anytime.
I know the basic stuff: Exercise, therapy, small talk with strangers, eating healthy, self-care, etc. I do all of that but I need something more specific and strict so I can get over this quickly.
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Look up charisma on command on YouTube. They’ve got lots of videos with examples of good social behavior and interactions. You can practice their examples or even enroll in their course if you’ve got the money.
But they usually provide the examples in a list type form. You could write them down and study the steps, memorize and practice them.
70% of what you need is in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There’s a reason it’s still in print after 85 years.
A lot of what’s in the book might seem commonsense. But for lots of socially awkward people, commonsense isn’t always so common.
Try reading or watching interviews with Vanessa Van Edwards. Her book Captivate is incredibly helpful
> give me your most rigorous, extreme advice to get to a point where I’m comfortable speaking to anybody, anytime.
You shall get, what you asked for:
* Intentionally seek out public judgement to destroy your ego:
dance on a crowded square like an idiot for 15 minutes. (You can use headphone with music if you want) Get your body in motion, so that your heart rate will go up. Feel the judgement of the passers-by and learn to accept, that you are that weird guy from their point of view. Embrace it. Wave your hands to greet people and smile, if you can.
* Write a text about how awkward and anxious you are, at least one page. Go to a public place, where people are. Stand on some object and loudly say: “Listen up people, I have to read something to you!” Then read the text.
By exposing yourself to this pressure screnarios, you will learn, that public judgement is not as painful as you think and that people care less about you than you think.
Write a big list of things that cause you to feel anxious, then do them 1 by 1. Also, get a job in retail or hospitality where you need to talk to people heaps
Realize that WHAT you say is less important than HOW you say it.
Don’t be afraid of rejection. Just in general, with friends, potential partners when dating, job interviews, etc.
It happens to everyone.
Put yourself out there, be yourself but always try to improve yourself too and just try.