It feels truly hopeless where I currently live and in my current situation. There are no natural opportunities for me to talk to anyone.
I’m not in school, I currently have no job. I have a park in my neighborhood but what do you say to them? Most people are walking and not just standing there so they’d have to want to stop because they are so riveted or I’d have to follow and pester them. I have no desire to play sports. Outside of that I have no where to walk to beside the store.
Too afraid to bike to the library because there’s no bike lanes and I have to cross the ramp onto a highway and fell off there once and injured myself.
Outside of that and a grocery store there is nothing. I tried looking up clubs and threes nothing. I have no car, the buses suck and I’m not good at using them so I can’t go anywhere. I’m stuck walking out my house and wandering around a neighborhood that has no clear hub, no type of community center, no natural place to meet others.
I feel like to make friends id have to scream at people in the street and carry a sign and beg plead as my first interaction. I feel like i have no other option. What else am I supposed to do, where am I supposed to go when I can’t go anywhere. How is anyone expected to make friends
4 comments
How old are you? Advice can be better given with that info
Get a job at a fast food place. I guarantee you’ll make friends immediately.
If there is a diner or restaurant like Applebees or Chili’s, work there. You will A. make friends B. Become a people person without even realizing it. You need to find a job that will force you to workout your social skills.
Also, Im not saying companionship is not important, but its okay to not have friends. Its not ideal but its not the end of the world either, it also doesn’t mean something bad about you. You have to love yourself before anyone else can, that sentence about you not being someone worth befriending is bullshit, people just don’t know you. The fact that you WANT friends is enough a reason to be friends with you. Hell, now were friends.
So first thing: Learn to use the bus.
I too live in a place with kinda shitty transit (come visit us at r/ottawa, we loooove to bitch about our transit infrastructure), but it is what is available if you don’t have a car, so you kinda have to learn to use it if you want to go anywhere and can’t/are uncomfortable with walking or biking there. One thing I recommend if you have a free day and just wanna get out of the house is having a bus adventure day – load up some music and podcasts, hop on the bus from your house and go in random directions. Pay attention to where different routes take you, get off and pop into places that look interesting along the way, get back on when you’re done and make your way back home.
Google Maps for route planning (if not schedules themselves – depending where you are it can be kind of hit or miss) is your friend. You can also see if there are any apps etc. that can help with schedules/GPS updates if your transit system uses GPS for their fleet. It’s worth checking if where you live has a local subreddit – if one exists, 100% guarantee someone can give you the low-down on how to use the bus effectively. This will open up more opportunities for you, both for recreation and employment.
Now, to the topic at hand: Get a job. Seriously (but meant kindly). While you can (and should!) keep looking for other opportunities for socialization (clubs, Meetup groups, volunteer organizations, etc.), the truth of the matter is a) as an adult, most of the connections you make are from working (rightly or wrongly), and b) unless your family is crazy wealthy and able to support you for the rest of your life (which they could be, but that’s super rare) at some point you’re going to need one anyway. So I’d say see what opportunities are available and apply. The job you take at first could be kind of shit, but it doesn’t mean that you’ll be doing that for the rest of your life, and in my (admittedly limited) experience, it’s the kinda shit jobs that strong friendships are forged in (because people love to bond over bitching about work, and making friends can make it less of a shitty experience).
An aside – you totally don’t have to share this information, but I’m kind of curious about where you live (city/town level), and am interested in Googling around just to see what is there. If you’re up to it, feel free to add it or send me a PM. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, completely understand.