I (f22) am seeing a boy right now (m25). We saw each other for the first time in February for 3 days (we live far from each other). I will see him again next week.
We like each other. like really. we laugh a lot and we talk seriously too. The crush is mutual. That’s rare for me.
We called each other yesterday and talked about sex (We haven’t done anything yet).
For the context, he has much more experience than me in the field (he is sexual active since his 13 yo). He knows what he wants and what he likes.
He’s pretty open-minded on that front. He likes anal sex, has a lot of toys and is interested in doing it with a guy.
Yesterday he asked me if I would be up for a possible threesome with him and his buddy (who he is also attracted to).
I didn’t say yes or no to him. I’m a little confused.
I’ve never experienced threesome but I’ve always been curious about it.
This kind of opportunity is rare and I’m thinking “it’s now or never”.
But it’s still special. 1 girl and 2 guys literally. I’m really worried that it will be weird, that at the last moment I won’t feel like it or worse, that during I’ll suddenly feel uncomfortable.
But I’m really curious. It’s more curiosity than hornyness and I’m afraid that’s the problem.
what do you guys think
6 comments
Have open communication before, during and after.
Do not afraid to say no or stop if feeling uncomfortable at anytime.
Consent is #1.
If you do go for it, have fun!
Sit down and have a serious conversation with him about your thoughts, anxieties, and everything in between
I really recommend going into this only once you have a very well established relationship.
More often than not couples in a threesome experience some sort of emotional conflict. Those with years of getting to know each other will usually be more likely to maintain the relationship than those with fewer years.
If you want to explore the opportunity of developing a serious relationship with him save yourself lots of angst and revisit this in a few years.
I think talking about a threesome before you’ve even had sex is really jumping the gun. You don’t know if you’re sexually compatible or if he’s attentive during sex. You don’t know each other’s body language during sex so it’ll be impossible for him to know if you’re uncomfortable during a threesome.
If this is just a fling and sex is the main purpose then maybe it’s worth going for it. But if you want a relationship, I really think you’re skipping ahead. I also think he’s bringing that up very early. It’s all good talking about fantasies, wants and desires but asking you is him jumping the gun.
I’d recommend you think about it and what you want, then have a detailed conversation about him like others are suggesting. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.
You have never had sex with this guy and he wants the first time to include you fucking 2 guys and you seeing him with a guy.
Run Away. Run away fast.
It is bizarre to propose a threesome to someone you’re dating and haven’t had sex with.