Hi all,

This probably sounds weird, but I need a good excuse as to why I haven‘t texted someone back. Because I need to text back. I should have immediately, and the longer it goes (now more than a week) the worse it gets.

I‘m usually late with texting, I hate chatting via text and only want to exchange information that way (e.g. communicate about when to meet, things to do, etc ) but this is actually the case now. I just avoided it because somehow instant messaging in general, but these text chains specifically feel so overwhelming. And when someone then adds another message I‘m even more reluctant to even open them because there‘s so many then.

But in this case, I need to reply. And after now more than a week for a topic with a timeline, I definitely need an excuse. Was I very sick? Was my child very sick?

I didn‘t post anywhere on social media, but my phone was on so the messages are shown as „delivered“ (haven‘t read them though – the preview is already enough to feel like I can‘t get into that now). I keep waiting for a better time when I feel more ready to tackle all those messages but it never comes. So now I can‘t just pick up the conversation without any excuse…
And I‘m trying to find out what my bigger problem there is and why I don‘t want to read all those messages. However, I‘ve also been looking at some old school cellphones and will most likely get rid of a smartphone as my regular phone. I really can‘t deal with all those messages and the expectation that I reply to them in time. It only feels like a burden now. I feel sick when I think about the fact that I still need to reply, it haunts me when I go to sleep.

But the people I need to reply to are not the kind of people I‘d share this with. Once I‘ve made the switch to a non-smart phone, I can casually tell people that „I just feel better this way“ but right now I can‘t use the anxiety that I feel when I look at my phone as an excuse.

So, does anyone have any good ideas for excuses?

4 comments

  1. I wouldn’t encourage lying to people, however since you said “the people I need to reply to are not the kind of people I‘d share this with.” I assume you either don’t know them well enough or they’re your boss at work or something… So if you have to you could say “Sorry for my late reply! My phone got water damaged and I’ve been too busy to get it fixed until today.” Or something along those lines.

    If they ask why the message was “delivered”, just say you don’t know what “delivered” means… Hell I didn’t even know until you said it means the person had their phone on and their phone received the msg. If, on the off chance, that they tell you what it means and demand an answer just say “Oh I kept trying to turn my phone on hoping it would work again but it would just load the apple logo (or android logo, or whatever loading screen your phone normally has when it turns on) and then turn off again after a few seconds. Maybe that’s why?”

  3. It’s really okay to just say you’re not great at messaging, I’m the same and I try to be honest about it where possible and make it clear it’s not personal, it’s just how I am. In my experience, coming up with “reasons” is a temporary solution to something you’re unlikely to be able to change about yourself, because it starts to look more and more like poor excuses to others over time. Some of us don’t like messaging regularly and it takes us a while, it’s totally fine, it’s not something you have to fix or cover up!

    If it’s a one-off and you really don’t wanna be honest, I’ll often say I was unwell, I had a lot on and it slipped my mind (or, sometimes, I wrote the message and didn’t hit send by accident 😅) but imo generally it’s best to just admit it takes you a while and it’ll likely help relieve some of that stress (which I fully understand, I’m the same) and ironically might make it easier to respond in a timely manner in the future.

  4. 1. My phone died
    2. I was stuck in traffic
    3. My kid had to go to the ER
    4. I was unsure what to say back
    5. I got arrested
    6. I was stuck in another dimension
    7. My phone broke so I had to get a new one. It looks identical because I chose the same model
    8. I was abducted by aliens
    9. I had to work overtime
    10. I broke all my fingers so I can’t text
    11. I was busy
    12. I didn’t get the message
    13. I’m mad at you
    14. I forgot to reply
    15. My contacts app won’t open

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