My girlfriend (F24) spends time with her ex’s guy best friend and his friends after his passing away and it’s bothering me (M26) a little…

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 5 months now and we’ve know each for almost a year, we met at work she came in for her training for 4 months and we kinda hit it off and started to like each but both agreed once she completes her training we will take things further as we didn’t want to date at work.

We talked basically everyday through text and at work but the week after she finished her training I asked to take her out and she says she doesn’t think she’s ready for anything serious and needs to time to find herself first but she still wanted to take things slow and talk so as upset as that made me feel I respected it and stuck around until our communication just kinda started dying down.

One she rung me up and told me she tried to stop two of her guy friends fighting and one of them hit her as she tried stopping them. She then claimed she feels horrible about the way I was slowly ghosted and didn’t have much communication and said she’s realised she feels more comfortable and safe with me and wants to takes things further and me giving her the benefit of the doubt and the fact I really like her agreed take take things further.

So were basically one month in into our relationship and one day she came to stay over at mine after finishing her nightshift and she got a call the next morning from one of her friends saying that her ex killed himself, this absolutely shattered her because he was the last person he had messaged. She said they’ve been talking all night because he texted her saying he was going to kill himself so she tried getting him go home and tried to talk some sense into and said he finally told her he’s home but it was lie and he ended up taking his own life, she said she feels guiltily for his death and blames herself for it and I did everything i could to support her through this and have been there for her.

Now straight after this happened I started to put together puzzles and figured out the time that I got ghosted or got told “I’m not ready for anything serious and need to find myself” she has been spending time with him. She then told me this guy was her ex who she still hung out with because he was depressed and she was trying help him get through this. She told me she felt stuck with him because he was manipulative and treated her like shit and always voiced about suicide and claimed he was horrible to her but she still cared for him because he wasn’t well and this was the same guy that hit her when she tried to stop the fight. My girlfriends a people pleaser and she’s had a traumatic childhood herself so she feels the need to help everyone.

Fast forward to 4 months after his death, there are days where she gets depressed and sad about him and she spends time with his friends which have become her friends too and I guess it’s a way for them to all vent and reminisce over him, but she sometimes spends time with his best friends too and goes over to his house where her ex used to live too. I do try be there for her and I can sense the days she’s not feeling well but she wouldn’t express fully what she’s sad about because she doesn’t want to bring it up infront of me and make me upset that’s she’s talking about her ex but all I want to be is just be there for her.

Now after finding everything out about her ex which I only came to know off after he died, this made me heavily upset because I somewhat felt played at the start of this even though she said she felt stuck with him. Obviously I waited until things settled abit to bring this up and tell her how I felt and she again she said it wasn’t right what she and again said she just felt stuck with him.

Now this was all overwhelming for me because this was my first relationship in a couple of years so I don’t really know how to handle this all and as much as I’m always there for her no matter what deep down it bothers me that she goes over and spends time with his friends and sometimes stays there overnight if they are all having drinks or something. I have expressed this to her and she did say it’s a way for them to all be together and reminisce about him which I understand but she said she can stop staying there if that makes it better. These people have become one of her regular friends now.

My girlfriend does make time for me and we spent time together a lot and she said loved me and she wants a future with me. But I don’t know why it upsets me whenever she spends time with them and I know it’s wrong for me to think think that and makes me sound like a coward but I can’t seem to stop this feeling or know how to handle it.

I feel as if I’m overthinking this too much and I should learn to control these emotions because I can’t tell her to stop going there that’s not fair on her as that help so her grieve and I don’t want to be that type of boyfriend. Just feel abit lost right now.