Im fine with most of my coworkers but three of them I have a small problem with. I have decent good relationships with them but all three treat me like a joke. Im the butt of elementary school tier gay jokes. I was caught nipping once a few weeks ago and I get groped as a “””joke””” now. I can take jokes but at some point it becomes infuriating and annoying. The whole constant joking at me stuff just fogs up any possibility of having a normal convo that isn’t about objectifying women. It was so bad yesterday before I clocked out it devolved into pointing and laughing at me to a point where I had to walk out of a different exit to avoid them. I am a bit awkward but I don’t do anything too out of the ordinary? Has anyone been in my situation?
4 comments
do you have to option to tell your boss? because thats really childish and shouldnt be tolerated.
Ask them how old they are. I’m curious… cuz if they’re older than 13 they’re probably not going very far in life..
If its in your capabilities just calmly voice your opinion 1v1 if possible. Shit like i dont match yous sense of humour. Even elaborate if you can. Could use professional respected comedians as an example as most of them respect people/ groups of people even though they make fun of them. They back of when the receiver of the joke voices they dont appreciate that type of attention. I can be awkward aswell and even if i think peoples stupid banter is a bit funny most times if i dont feel comfortable with them i just dont appreciate it. More so if they keep expecting a reaction. If they are truely crossing the line maybe tell your boss its effecting your concentration to work. But one way you can do ( depending if there actually somewhat reasonable ) is integrate a level of playfulness that somewhat resembles there own with out lowering to there level. (When comfortable )Observe them a bit at first till you get it. ( sometimes people are just pessimistic losers) but still. If they actually think calling you gay is funny ( because your introverted, openminded not mucho or whatever ) could use sarcasm op – “ nah i dont really find her attractive/ want a relationship because ..* insert reason*… which i know is SOOO gay. Could just simply ask why they are so concerned or entertained with what your sexuality is / or isnt. If there pointing and laughing give them a thumbs up without a smile. I dont know what your style is or exactly what the environment is where your work. So youll have to personally think about it. Me personally i would just go to work conversation when nessesary on the job then just be silient and if there are genuine ones talk to them. If the rest snap out of it give em a chance fr small talk but till then all they would get is. “Yea alright” “okay” “rightio”. Wouldnt stay for lunch or listen to anything that isnt required.
Ive been the source of laughter many times and wasnt really compatible with the “ i throw dirt in your face you try throw it at mine” but it does make you more experienced. “Its not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward” thing is something to remember. But do block yourself. If you are a chill dude and can sound/ are intelligent/ articulate. People will be more reluctant to fuck with you as they them selves can end up being awkward
They probably just like you and think they are being funny. If you haven’t been shutting that down you need to gain some confidence and next time they do it just stare blankly at them.
For extra damages, add, “why is that funny?”
After they stumble trying to explain themselves just keep grilling.
“I don’t get it. That’s not even remotely funny”
“That is wildly inappropriate.”
“I don’t appreciate you making jokes at my expense”
Most people will stop there because they’ll start to realize that beating the dead horse will just make them look like more of a jerk. If they still aren’t stopping though, then it’s time to talk to your boss about it.
If the boss doesn’t do anything, talk to their boss. You have a right to expect not to be made uncomfortable at work. They are infringing on your right to a safe workspace. If the boss’ boss does nothing then leave no matter what. Ideally find another job first.