I (33 f) am at a weird place in my life. I don’t think i have recovered from the social inadequacies that covid brought and i find that it is difficult for me to socialize or go on dates. I’m pretty shy and have social anxiety as it is and covid made it much worse. It’s like i forgot how to be fun and relaxed, and my anxiety convinces me that anyone who looks at me is thinking poorly of me.
I’ve been single for a while and am about to graduate with my second degree, and yet i feel like my time is up. I don’t mean in a suicidal way, but i feel like i have nothing else in store for me and my youth has been wasted. I do not look my age remotely and i pass off as early 20s, but i feel undesirable and overlooked. It puts me in a weird spot because i am mostly approached by much younger men and it’s to the point where i don’t think people my age KNOW I’m the same age as them until i point it out somehow. I’m going to assume that men my age think I’m too young for them.
I guess I’m just at a weird transitional life phase and was wondering if anyone felt the same. I feel so out of place, i don’t even know how to dress these days. I’ve always had “grandma” interests but i feel like I’m actually turning into one now.
I also recently fumbled the ball big time with a guy i had a crush on and I’m pretty mad at myself for it. He really wanted to go out and it made me so nervous that i never responded. He’s considerably more attractive than i am and i didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of him not being attracted to me. In the past this wouldn’t phase me but my lack of courage these days is worrying.
Tl;dr getting older and feeling the world caving in and getting smaller
3 comments
Same. The thing is tho at least you have your priorities straight you’re getting your degree. Dating will always be there heck you can make a tinder and put the ages you’re looking for. Regarding social awkwardness COVID did bring several people to be in that stage since we all had to be home. I went to the club a few weeks back and I was horrified I felt my anxiety kick in so bad. I think we just need to take it one step at a time to get back how we were before
it sounds like you lack motivation and have low self esteem, despite others thinking you are great?
I think you’re speaking from a place of anger due to your fumbling. Is there a way to get back on that specific horse? Have you considered some kind of therapy to decrease your social anxiety?
I also think that the fact that you’re 33 and pursuing a second degree puts you in the middle of an hourglass that increases your feelings of not having from where to choose.