So I know social skills are learned through trial and error, but I’m 22 and I feel so behind socially. I don’t catch jokes, playfulness makes me uncomfortable, I’m sensitive to the slightest tone change and don’t even get me started on the lack of boundaries in conversation. (Ex talking about poop schedules at the bar first time meeting) I just tend to hope it’s charming in the moment but feel ashamed afterwards. How can I fix this so I can go have a night out without spiraling into self shame? I feel like an anxious kid at the cool kid house party in a 2007 music video or something lol
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Repetition. You’re young and inexperienced and need to expose yourself to the variegated weirdness the world affords. Sure some topics are off-putting. But if you keep on trucking, you’ll get used to handling the strange range of subjects people want to discuss. There are limits of course and some topics you will find intolerably unpleasant. These you can walk away from.
To the point on being sensitive, imagine what it’d be like for a fighter to be sensitive to every punch and attack thrown at him. He wouldn’t be much a of fighter would he? As a conversationalist, it’s no different. To handle a conversation well requires one to be less sensitive in the face of uncommon or weird topics. Instead of recoiling, walk into the fray with courage and strength. And if you feel inclined, control the conversation.