I just had a little flip out at my wife and am now fuming mad. I am hangry. I will say this. I went to the gym this morning. I am overweight after a severe injury and my quality of life has really suffered. I’m two weeks into taking myself to the gym every morning. Today, there was a class in the pool. My bad for not checking the schedule. I hit up the sauna for like 15 minutes so it wasn’t a total waste. I’d texted my wife that I was feeling really hungry and by the time I got home I was doubled over needing a bowl thinking I was going to throw up. Sometimes I get sick when I’m hungry but this was more intense. My wife offers to cook (up until this point I was coming home to cook breakfast) she throws some potatoes on the stove top. I mention we’ve been cooking them in the oven for a bit first so they cook through (we’ve literally had a couple conversations about this on the past few months because we really like how they turn out) like, I just mention this and she looks at the potatoes that are cooking on the stove and dumps them into a dirty pan that had been sitting there for days because I guess that pan could go in the oven. I mean there was thick grease that was all dirty in this pan. I don’t know why but I lost it. Am I crazy? I never even asked her to cook for me. To f think it’s okay to feed your spouse disgusting food? I’m refusing to eat now. At least that meal. I have a granola bar. I’ll cook myself something to eat in a little bit. But for now I’m just crying in the bedroom. I’m a mess. I just feel like you must not care for somebody very much to do something like that?
Not that it matters, but we are both chicks and I have no views of a “wife’s role” in the house other than to be a caring partner.
Edit: I accidentally left out this important detail. A couple years ago she got me severely ill with food poisoning after leaving leftover Indian food in her car all day in the summer then offering it to me for dinner.
To the person that said I’m overreacting. Thank you actually, I’m feeling severely emotional and I literally can’t tell if I’m being crazy right now 😭😭😭
9 comments
Wow that not good not practicing food safety can and will get you very ill..Not to mention very disgusting
How do you think your wife would characterize this incident?
Yes you are overreacting.
You are probably overreacting a bit because you’re tired and hungry. See how you feel about things tomorrow.
But it’s not really her role to cook for you in exactly the way you require and if my partner had criticised my cooking like that, it would have annoyed me too.
I would say yes. Being annoyed ok, but in tears, maybe the changes you’ve made are wearing you thin temporarily. Exhaustion can mess with our emotions, and killing it the gym every single day is a big change. I also think correcting her on the potatoes was petty af, when she was trying to help.
It has nothing to do with who’s “role” it is, to cook. Here’s a spouse who’s not feeling well, has expressed it to their partner and comes home to her partner OFFERING to cook but then they proceed to, not only, half-ass the job, but also take it to a point of disgust…yeah, no. You have every right to be upset. If it was going to be like that, then she shouldn’t have offered to make you something to eat. It’s not the action that’s upsetting, it’s the lack of thought and carelessness that I could understand put you over the edge. Now, would that merit you blowing up and crying in your room? No, that’s a totally personal battle you have going on internally, but I do believe you have a right to be hurt and upset by your partner’s lack of care into what SHE herself offered to do for you. It’s almost like you weren’t even worth her taking 3 minutes to clean the pan before using it. It was THAT much of a chore to clean a pan, really?! In that case, she shouldn’t have offered at all. Take a minute and calm yourself. Once your emotions are more in control, let her know that what she did was not okay because you didn’t even ask her to do it and then she goes about it in the way she did. Apologize for exploding on her but NOT for being upset at the way she went about this whole thing.
I think the food poisoning incident would be enough for me to take over the food prep.
Girl, get over yourself. Yes, you are overreacting. If you know you have an illness that requires food to the point where you are sick if you don’t eat and your wife has messed up food in the past, then you should’ve had food ready to go when get home before you left for the gym.
And you’re going to the gym every day but you’re throwing up without food? You had an injury so bad that you gained weight where you are obsessing over the gym so did your doctor clear you for this intense of a workout schedule yet? You’re sooooo hungry that you’re crying hysterically in the bathroom and typing this whole dissertation instead of getting yourself some food?!?! Drama queen! And your spouse knows it and is probably sick of it.
Instead of mentioning the potatoes to your partner ( subconsciously hoping she would cook ), you simply should have come home & done it yourself. However she went to help you out by doing them for you & the first thing you do is pay out on her for not doing it how you discussed . You gave her no thank you for her wanting to do something for you, which you should have or could have done for yourself , just a kick in the arse for not remembering how you wanted to do the potatoes. As for your subconscious, yes you definitely did not want to do the work to do them. Not that my opinion means anything, but yes you are overreacting & carrying on like a spoilt kid , especially since your partner only offered to do them for you basically because you palmed it off by deliberately mentioning it to her because you were to lazy to do them yourself .