Am I (32f) overreacting that my boyfriend (32) of 10 years won’t do much to take care of our dying senior cat but will go out of his way to see a metal show late at night? I kinda want to break up with him over this.

So I have to take care of our old, possibly dying cat who is very sick and hiding under the bed. It’s been a heavy two weeks leading up to this Saturday where we will decide to prolong diagnostics/prodding and Hank’s misery or send him off across the rainbow bridge.

The boyfriend reluctantly brought up a show around 9:30 pm last night, meaning he’d probably have to borrow my car and come home late.

In the middle of eating dinner he brings up this show which initially I had no problem with, but he mentioned unnecessarily that he assumed I’d be some sort of clingy whiny gf over it.

I had to think about this for a minute. I had not protested him going out late at night for ages. Since the peak of the pandemic and when the streets were a tad scary here in LA. Yeah, I would not be happy he was taking my car to hang out into 4-11 am leaving me stranded here with no car.

In fact, I love having time to myself to watch cheesy movies and not having to cook dinner for two!! Does he wish that I were more upset over his going?

Here’s a guy who’ll never drive when we go out, nor will he ever take me places. I’m not exaggerating. But i got used to it, and now I love exploring alone. For him it’s either band practice or metals shows and that’s it. All other times I go out alone or I’m driving us. It’s kinda embarrassing. He doesn’t even have his license, just a learners permit. I love going hiking or getting the f out of the city sometimes to breathe, but he complains he’s too tired or nature is not his thing. It’s only my thing.

I have been stressing about this cat. I love him and want to do whatever possible to ease his pain and prolong his life. My boyfriend shows little to no interest in possibilities of treatment and researching on his own. I go to Petsmart 3 times a week to find different treats I might get him to eat along with his food. I’ve slowly coaxed him to eat out of my hand. I have to do this every couple hours to make sure he’s staying hydrated.

Hank is eating voraciously now from my hand only. This was supposed to be my bf’s cat! I have my own cat too.

He’ll go the extra mile to impress people he claims he doesn’t think much of ( he talks a lot of crap about metalheads in general ) but when it comes to me or his cat he puts in the lowest amount of effort possible and put all his time and energy into his band’s discord. I do all the house chores, meal prep, cooking, cleaning, and car maintenance. I feel like both the dude and gf in this relationship. I’ve excused him over and over in my head because he grew up in a disadvantaged home, and I hoped could teach him crucial life skills along our relationship adventure. But boy does he have a big head sometimes I wanna pop.

I drove out of LA a little pissed off but I knew I have to go back by morning to keep Hank hydrated. I know the bf wont do anything for him while I’m away.

\*Oh btw he compares bringing up past, scared-to-be-alone- in-LA-clingy-me, with bringing up his past, trying-to-cheat-with-old-high-school-friends, meeting the former “love of his life and her friends” behind my back, and posting secret nude pictures of me on forums. He says they’re the same thing and water should be under the bridge.

tl;dr I feel like my boyfriend’s nurse maid who has Stockholm Syndrome and our old kitty cat is dying making it a weird time for me to finally leave him.