Is it too late now for me[F26] to change?

Hi everyone.

Possible TW : weight & self esteem issues!

I met the guy I’ve been out with for the 7th time since I know him, one month ago, last night, and at one point he started talking about expectations.

I was apparently “low expectation” side. this was the way he said it.

So high expectation would be : going to park, walk walk etc (I don’t remember because I was kinda high and sleepy)

low expectation: he said those people just don’t care. I don’t know what he meant by this.

I do care to be honest, just taking the first step is always on “lazy” on my side. I don’t like going out too much, I hate dealing with what people think( he is 35, and a foreigner). I don’t know what to say. I have self esteem issues a bit and this just.. I know its not gonna work again.

I just cant read what kinda person he is. But I know for sure he doesn’t like to listen to me much. He’s an observer. I don’t know exactly the expectations. The conversation is nice, I mean we are both funny. But when I tell him something about my life, he always think I was a little doesn’t make any sense. But I’m just really an emotional person.

We talked about my body before also, he is the one who cares about diet and being healthy. I just go with the flow because I really like my body right now.

I left at 6am this morning, with him being a little cold and grumpy, he always sleeps around this time. I expected something a little.. nice.

I am going for a break to my hometown for 10 days, and I guess I just need to kinda let it go and move. And probably come back with fresher mind that this is just not gonna work for me. I hate myself.

Is it really late to actually do something about it coz it seems he’s had in mind what kinda person I am, I don’t mean I wanna pretend. But if changes needed, is it really worth doing it now? I know this would only contribute to a positive health well being. Don’t text him until he texts me right?