Hi Everyone, I’m a 18yo man that moved to a different school and town a little over a year ago.
I didn’t have much luck making friends my first months, i did try but i always found it difficult to create a deeper relationship.
Right now i have a lot of people i could call friends, but not “friends friends”, when i see them i might just say hi to them and make small talk, but not much other than that.
I feel i can’t be myself anymore because I’m always trying to not be disliked (i almost never make jokes about others and I’m always positive to what people tell me), this is a problem because i know that other people will found this kinda bland.
I also never had a gf and this is something I had in my mind for years, this is affecting me to the point that my brain goes dumb when talking to women and I’m always trying to come up with something to say to keep the talk going, instead of having normal conversations where i actually talk about what i care and I’m interested in.
I really hate what i becomed and i want to change.
**I want to not care about what other people think of me and be myself. **
Today i had a conversation in school with a girl I’m interested in, we been having really small talk for a few days but today it was a long conversation. It went well but all i was talking about was really basic stuff, i don’t want to be seen as a bland person (I’m not like that, i have a lot of interests and things i like to do, also i can feel comfortable in conversation but only with close friends).
My problem is that i can never get to the stage of trust and feeling comfortable with other people because i act really poorly when i meet them.
Any advice will be appreciated.