We’ve been dating for a few months and it was perfect, almost felt like a dream at the beginning. I feel like I really found my perfect, ideal man. But as time pass by, he started opening up to me about his mental health and I got to know his thought processes, all I can say is that his insecurities are down bad (trauma from his exes). To the point where I’m afraid I’ll wake up the next day with him gone already its like that every single day. Am I allowed to feel overwhelmed? To second think the relationship bc I don’t see myself having to deal with these in the future? Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried to help him get help as much as I can, it’s not like its inaccesible to him too (he’s rich) but there’s just always excuses. I’m someone not very good with words so I feel bad not being able to say the right things to comfort or reassure him. I can’t think of anything else to write but just it gets really hard for me to be there for someone that fragile. I love him but I’m afraid I”ll lose him everyday. I’m having thoughts of leaving sometimes bc i just think that i dont deserve this kind of life when I spent years trying to get to where I am now, and now its like nothing changed for me bc I get affected and dragged down by his insecurities everyday and I don’t wanna be the asshole. Idrk if I love him or if I’m just afraid to not find someone who will love me as much as he does.
4 comments
Are you allowed to get overwhelmed? Absolutely.
Very rarely are problems fixed by just one person. Someone struggling with health issues will benefit from a team of people each of which can provide different things. Finding him other friends, a therapist, maybe a doctor who can prescribe something. All of these will help
I’ve left 2 men over mental health. One who was just so depressed and sad about everything life threw at him. And one who was very bipolar and was doing nothing to help himself. Both relationships exhausted me and I didn’t want to even be around the person sometimes.
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It’s 100% ok to leave someone if being with them is putting a strain on your own mental health
Do not sink yourself to keep someone else afloat. He isn’t willing to help himself, do not subject yourself to pain and fear because of his unwillingness to change. You’re only a few months in, don’t intertwine your life with someone who’s already making you feel terrible
This may be less helpful and more validation, I’m in the same situation. I haven’t figured out what to do yet. But know you are not alone in this situation.