So as stated above I’m 25 and I have trouble showing affection and love to my girlfriend who’s 22. She’s my first long term relationship and I love her more than anything but I really suck at showing it. I come off as I don’t care or I don’t love her. She’s putting her all in the relationship and I’m not. We both have a messy history regarding relationships and because of this I shut that part of me off and she started to be more open with me something she always wanted to do since the beginning of our relationship and I want to as well but I have trouble showing affection due to my past. It’s not fair to her because she went through a lot in her previous relationship and now I’m hurting her because I’m doing the same thing her ex did which was only show affection when he wanted to. I want to change because she changed and grew for me but I don’t know why I’m struggling. I love her so much and it pains me to see her like this. I’m trying to change but every time I do I somehow go back to my old ways and become distant. I hate myself sometimes because of this and I desperately need advice on how to change