I want to know how I can attract more guys. Looks wise a lot of guys are attracted to me but I have never had a bf. What do I do help?

48 comments

  2. Coming from a guy alot of guys are cowards. If you see a guy you like, and you say yourself your pretty attractive. Go up to him and give him a compliment or ask for his number. If hes single theres a 98 percent chance he will say yes because most men are lonely now a days! Most men are too scared to go up to girls. I know its not ideal but if you like someone go up to them whats the worst that can happen he says no or insults you. And if he insults you he looks like the bad guy himself aha!

  3. However for the title. For me this is it.

    Your friend group, are they good people are they good influences
    How do you treat people that lets say uhh give no benefit to you do u treat everyone nicely etc
    Are you grateful for everything
    Are there any signs of outlandish behaviour which is something I myself dont wanna get in to
    How do you speak of you exs (I know this doesnt apply but some girls say that every ex of hers was narcissistic or a bad person, sorry but every guy cant be a bad person, and majority of the times its the girl that picks the guy she wants idk tho), plus if we were to break up what will you speak of me…
    Basics ig too, do you take care of yourself etc
    And one for the future, relationship like with parents. This can be subjective and depends on the girl Im speaking tos situation.
    AND obviously if Im attracted to you physically or not (most girls do attract men btw so yeah)

    I hope this helps, Im 16 and never had a girlfriend myself or any dating experience however ive learnt from watching other peoples experiences and reading etc. This may change slightly in the future but for now this is what I as a guy would look at and probably many others

  5. If I understand while talking that they are pure and have goodwill, also they are not toxic girl, it means that’s is ok

  6. When a woman is confident. But also specifically confident and comfortable I’m how she knows me. And how she can show me she knows me and she cares. Has to make me feel unique; like I am the only man that she treats that way.

  7. Having fun with each other. Weird enough.
    Looks do it on film but in person we have to have fun and banter needs to feel relaxing. Hard to find that though.

    Also, a hard thing to manufacture.
    It’s a numbers game and takes patience.

    Some guys just want looks.

  9. Responsibility and maturity, balanced with still being fun. I think is the most attractive thing in both men and women probably, but it’s definitely what I fall for.

  10. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of people in your corner, so why not start by building closer relationships with those around you? That could be a great starting point for you to really get to know someone and form a meaningful connection.

  11. Initiative is great. I think most women expect the guy to make plans, introduce themselves, physical contact, etc etc. Take the initiative when texting or suggest a date. By doing this, you really separate yourself from other girls and personally, I love it. Some men feel like this is some kind of threat to their masculinity and if they feel that way, move on.

    Girls who flirt too. I’ve had several “good” dates where we get a long great and have a lot in common, but ultimately, I’m looking for something romantic and not just another friend.

    There’s really no sure-fire formula to have feelings for someone. I’ve dated girls who checked all those boxes but in the end, I just wasn’t attracted to them as a partner. Understand how you like to give and receive love (love languages) and see if they align with your partner.

  14. I know this might seem crazy but it all depends on the first date. Obviously, clothing is important but it doesn’t have to be like what you would wear at an interview. Beforehand, I would maybe ask something like what is your favorite color and wear something that has that color if possible. That way he notices that you care about him. Also, if you think the date goes well try to signal to him that you would like another date and don’t assume that he will know what you are implying. If not, then at least thank him for being with you. I’ve known some people who could not be in another relationship because of being led to believe that the woman wanted another date but then got rejected when asked. If you do all this, I’m sure that any man would love to continue the relationship.

  15. I met a girl on a dating app. She wasn’t super attractive by conventional standards but she seemed like a nice person who worked out so I swiped right. When we matched, she started the conversation with a question instead of starting with “hi” or whatever. I showed my appreciation for her unique approach, and it just snowballed from there. Later, I talked to her about it and it turns out she does this because in her words: “If my goal is to assess the quality of the candidates, wouldn’t it make sense to pick four or five questions that prompt the reactions I want?”

    tl;dr: Be unique, unafraid of exercise, considerate, and Machiavellian in your dating strategies.

  16. Any girl who shows interest is enough. If you are religious its a hard no for me, cuz you know they usually defend pedophilia.

  17. Depends on the man…it’s different for everyone.

    But, given attractiveness, if she is smart and witty I will flop. I love banter and enjoy folks who can keep up.

    A genuine light-heartedness about life. Always keeping it fun even when it’s not so fun.

  18. Poise, be selective as to sexual engagement numbers, show potential for long term commitment
    without pushing it.

  19. For me, she has to have a uniqueness that I can’t find in a lot of other women. A lot of times I find the same personality in women, which for me is a turn off. It’s like cookie cutters of women.
    She would treat me, just as the same as I treat her with respect. I don’t want to constantly chase, but I don’t her constantly chase me either. She has to be able to earn my trust, and at the same time I will earn hers. It’s always about 50/50. And that’s how I start having feelings for her.

  20. Probably the degree of the connection I’ve had with them after physical attraction

  21. This may be too far out there, but if you are towards to the top tiers of being socially nice, I’m hooked. If I can introduce you to virtually anybody and know with virtual certainty that they will appreciate having met you, I’m in deep deep trouble. I guess I say too far out there because my last situation was socially outgoing enough that you probably can’t fake that level. The concept can still be utilized though.

  22. Starts w/ physical attraction which turns into something they do or say, my language is physical touch & acts of service. So cooking, etc…

  23. Unexpected/unasked Kindness towards me.
    Listening to me when I’m excited or upset.
    Physical touch (not necessarily sexual either – eg hugs).

  25. Well, that’s a difficult question, what attracted them to you, what stopped them being more interested in you, maybe some of these guys aren’t worth your time, sit back and and reflect on the situation not the outcome other than that I can’t say what is causing your problem of finding a boyfriend maybe your trying to hard..Best wishes!

  27. The game has changed. Approaching is discouraged. You have to make the first move.

  28. As a 28…good god, almost pusing 30 years old man.

    Look, there are a lot of pretty faces out there. I don’t have the time and the energy to bung every single one of them. What do make me catch feelings though is the slow long boil of slowly discovering someone to be actually pretty neat character-wise.

    No I’m not one of those “you know what i like in a woman? her personality” nice guys fuckwits who say it just cos it might get them laid. I genuinely do not have the time to waste on people who I don’t really care about and people who add more headache to my life. If she makes my life easier and more enjoyable, she’s not quite got the ring on the finger yet, but I’m definitely browsing Tiffany’s.

  29. A lot of guys can be shy and nobody like rejection whether you’re a man or woman. What caused me to have feelings for a women was she was my best friend. Guys like confidence, weird/quirky behavior, and flirting.

    If you’re looking to get the attention from a certain guy or just want guys to ask you out more I’d say it’d be easier for you if you just initiated interest. That could be giving someone a compliment, simply talking with them/be a bit flirty and see how they respond, making direct eye contact with them. Remember this is just simply initiating interesting interest. Once the guys pick up on it they’re going to take it as she’s putting the ball in my court and at that point you’d hope they can muster up the courage to carry it from there.

  30. Just be yourself.. figure out whether u want a bf or fwv .. but I would go for a bf and don’t let anyone that takes advantage of u .. u deserve happiness 😊

  32. It’s the “connection “. Being able to open up with trust. Sharing those intimate moments and bonding. It’s not easy to do. You have to feel when it’s the right time. When she was able to share personal things with me. It was for me to keep safe in my vault . And she kept my secrets as well. The open communication was key.

  33. – You find me attractive and you let me know from time to time, nice to know you find me attractive.
    – You can communicate to me how you feel and if something is upsetting you. Since relationships are all about communication I’d wanna be able to talk to you about things not argue about them.
    – You are interested in getting to know me as much as I am with you.
    – You can accept me for who I am even the goofy parts
    – you can have a laught with me and not always be serious

  34. Intelligence, empathy, a sense of humor, and some form of drive / motivation for a career.

    Those do a hell of a lot more for me than great abs or a thigh gap or whatever.

  36. Being nice, kid friendly (not just good with kids but also entertaining), no makeup, little to no tattoos, pet friendly. Bonus points for being: Nurse, lifeguard, teacher, swim teacher, theater person, mermaid, autistic, asexual.

  37. I have a crush on someone rn. I guess the first thing is that she laughed at my jokes and actually offered conversation to me. She is smart and funny, and I can hold a conversation with her for hours which is much longer than I can with anyone else.
    Mostly just that she listens to me and offers me company. And of course she is very pretty and cute but I only realised that after getting to know her. Sounds weird I know, but trust me.
    Doesn’t take much for men to like a woman, especially me, but as long as you treat us kindly and talk to us you can’t really go wrong.

  38. Attraction can be almost anything. Feelings emerged as I grew to connect on a level that we could just click. We are now 41 days away from getting married. We don’t exactly share all the same interests, but we share all the same values. We often do share a similar thoughts and we sometimes are thinking about the same thing and we are always surprised that we do. Everyday I grow deeper in love.

  40. She was nice to me. That’s literally all it took. Most of us average guys aren’t used to the attention.

  41. Girls always told me I made them into an idea. But the ones I loved the most made themselves into manic pixie dream girls on purpose and were shocked it attracted guys who treated them as such.

    Make yourself into an idea.

  42. I’ll be very blunt here. I can’t speak for all men, but I think I can speak for most.

    What [most] men **don’t** want:

    * Disagreeable
    * Argumentative
    * “Boss babes”
    * Loud / Angry / Controlling
    * Instagram “model”

    What [most] men **do** want:

    * Gentle
    * Nurturing
    * Temperance
    * Honest
    * Calm
    * Supportive
    * Trustworthy
    * Agreeable
    * Modest

    There’s obviously more to it than a few bullet points. Unfortunately most modern American women (not saying you) these days are obsessed with themselves, have nothing to offer in terms of traditional femininity and have way too many masculine traits going for them.

    Be the woman that his mother wants for him.

  43. Age makes a difference. Since you’re saying you’ve never had a BF, I’m gonna assume you’re early 20s at the latest.

    For guys around that age (and, honestly, most ages,) looks are the first thing that’ll get you in the door. However, we are REALLY extra attracted to girls who go out of their way to show that they’re interested in us. Laugh at his jokes, flirt, make yourself available, and when he comes up with a plan, throw in minor changes if you need (ex: he wants to go to a steakhouse, but you’re a vegetarian, you should definitely speak up “I would love to have dinner with you, but I don’t eat meat… what are your thoughts?”) but mostly be agreeable to letting him take the lead.

    Also, be aware that if he’s boyfriend material, he’s also vetting you, the same as you’re vetting him… I’ve known girls who, when I let them in the car first when picking them up for a date, would ALWAYS dive across the seat to get my door open for me (since it unlocked already.) I didn’t need her to open my door for me. She was showing me that she was going to keep my needs in mind, and try to fulfill them.

    If you ask his advice or his opinion on something that he’s qualified to talk about, listen, ask good questions, and then TAKE IT. Guys don’t talk to talk… we talk to share information, and if you ask for our information, and then dismiss it, you move right out of “girlfriend potential”.

    Also, when the bill comes on the first date, at least make an effort of offering to split it. I don’t care if you didn’t bring your purse, at least pretend. The guy should (and usually will) insist on paying for it (if he doesn’t, he’s not that into you,) and he’ll feel good about taking care of it without your seeming to have felt entitled to it, so he’ll feel better about you, too.

    When you’ve been out a couple of times, make sure to suggest a cheap or free date… ex: offer to make a picnic lunch for him, and meet in a local park to share it. He wants to know that dating you is going to have some balance in it.

    Also, on the flirting part, DO flirt. DO touch casually, whether that’s sitting with your leg touching his, or casual touches with your hands, and, just my rule: I’m pretty reasonable about finding a decent opportunity to kiss, and I’ll look for that on the first date, but if it’s not there, I’m not going to force it. If there’s no kiss by the end of the second date, though, there’s not going to be a third date. Guys don’t have time and resources to waste on women who are lukewarm about them, when there are plenty who will be happy to show their enthusiasm and warmth.

    For extra points, show that you’re warm, friendly with kids (and animals) and let him see some of your nurturing side. If something startles you, let him shield you, and make yourself small in his arms. (I’m about 5’11… I once dated a girl who was about a half an inch taller, but she was REALLY good at seeming to shrink down and nestle into my arms for any reason.) We love it when we feel large and in charge, and if the girl who’s doing it seems like good mom-material, she’s worth pursuing… at least for guys in our 20s and early 30s. Later, we’re not necessarily looking for someone to have kids, but, if you’re in the 20s category, we definitely are.

    One odd thing… a girl I was talking to, who just BARELY met my “good looks” requirements, shared a video of herself knitting and singing a song with her nieces and nephews, bouncing along to the rhythm, while they swarmed around her. She immediately got massive bonus points for me, for the wholesome, nurturing appeal of that, and my opinion of her changed instantly from “eh, I guess I might go out with her” to “holy shit, I’m giving this one a chance.” Don’t underestimate warmth and sweetness! We might date and sleep with girls who aren’t warm, but we usually won’t intentionally GF them.

    Also, be open to his interests. You don’t have to love them, but if you can find a couple that speak to you, or that you’re open to exploring, it makes a huge difference. Any overlap in interests is good, even which types of movies you like, or activities you enjoy! Dismissing all of his interests means you don’t like him, as a person, and, while he still might sleep with you, he won’t consider you as a long term prospect.

    Wow, that was a lot longer than I expected. Anyway, good luck!

  44. Wow, my wife’s eyes and smile were the first physical things I noticed. When we were getting to know each other it was how she cared for me, the way she could hold an intelligent conversation, the way her body fit next to mine while we cuddled on the couch, how she listened to my every word about my day and cared about it, how she left the little things around the house for me to find ( like my favorite chocolate ). Now that she is no longer here I miss three things more than anything. I miss the presence her love added to the house, I miss her laughter filling the room and I miss the smell of her perfume on my pillow.

  45. Number of things

    Her attitude

    The way she carries herself

    Looks (duh)

    Personality

  48. Start by being empathetic enough to try and understand a man and the way his mind works. In your question it’s really all about you. There is zero context…basically you are just looking for some magical tactic you can use to manipulate men. Spend some time taking a hard look at yourself and what you have to offer. So far all I see is that you think you are attractive, but then claim you’ve never had a relationship of meaning with a man. Do you see how those two things don’t add up? Maybe take yourself off the pedestal and cast a wider net…you will have to get very real with yourself. Also stop asking Reddit for quick fixes to complex problems.

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