Is it allowed to ban relationships between coworkers at a workplace?

30 comments

1. We do have restrictions in my company for manager-employee relationships.

2. It can be a big conflict of interest if one supervises the other. I’ve never know it to be an issue where the workers occupied equal spots in the table of organization.

3. Not all relationships.

   But they can if one of the people is in a managerial position that could impact the other. And while relationships may not be banned, they can prohibit interactions on company time.

4. I think it’s legal if it’s in a contract of employment, but that might differ by state.

5. As always these things depend on which state–but yes, in some states, a company may ban relationships between employees, and often do ban relationships where an employee is having relations with a manager. Some companies prohibit dating anyone who is a direct report, or reports to one of your direct reports: it represents a conflict of interest.

   [More reading here.](https://www.rocketlawyer.com/business-and-contracts/employers-and-hr/company-policies/legal-guide/can-an-employer-prohibit-workplace-dating)

   And since the US is an “at-will” state, you can be terminated for dating a subordinate.

6. I work HR for a public organization. Our only written policy is when it comes to supervisory roles. We couldn’t have someone be a supervisor for a spouse or direct family member.

7. They can’t control what you do in your spare time or the relationships you can have. They CAN say that if you are in a romantic relationship with someone who works for you (to name a common restriction), you are not going to work at that company in that role.

8. Back in like 2010 I worked at a restaurant that had banned them. Don’t know how legal it was though.

   The place I work at now restricts management from having relationships with regular employees.

9. I work in a supervisory role. My company’s policy is that if I have any sort of romantic relationship with someone under my supervision I have to disclose it, presumably so that I am taken out of any decision loop regarding that person’s pay, employment status, etc. Or at least so that any decision I make would be given greater scrutiny. Relationships with people outside of my team are fine AFAIK.

   Moot point though as I am happily married.

10. I work in Human Resources. The policy here is that it’s discouraged, but allowed as long as you disclose it and you aren’t in a position where anything improper would occur, which means that anything with a subordinate would be a problem.

    >control what employees do on their spare time

    That’s the thing, it’s not their spare time that we’re concerned with. It’s the impact that the relationship could have on the work environment that we’re worried about.

11. Where I work, it’s considered a conflict of interest if someone is in a relationship with someone that’s a subordinate to the other. While you probably won’t be outright fired for it, you’ll probably be transfered to another site or position.

    In smaller companies that have no such policy, it’s generally seen as a negative by other employees. Even family ties can be viewed negatively if it’s perceived that someone’s getting special treatment.

12. Is it *legal* for them to ban workplace relationships? I’m unaware of any law preventing them from doing it. There may be *some* states that have laws on the books, but I don’t know of any.

    Do they *actually* ban that stuff? Generally only in cases where one manages the other.

13. US employers can stipulate that employees do not do certain things outside of work. For example, it isn’t uncommon for athletes to have contracts that prohibit participation in certain risky activities, including riding motorcycles. Some companies ban employees from smoking, even outside of work, due to the impact it has on workplace health insurance.

    And yes, some companies ban relationships, but it’s most common for this restriction to be limited to direct supervisor relationships.

14. When I worked as a sports reporter in college, I wasn’t allowed to date any of the athletes I covered.

    (Not that that stopped me, as I’m now married to one of the athletes I covered)

15. Legally they have every right to set their own policy on the matter in an at-will state. Companies can and do let people go for conduct related issues that happen outside the workplace.

    That being said most places will generally be fine with employees dating each other as long as one isn’t supervising the other and it’s not causing issues at work.

16. Of course it can be. It is because that ‘spare time’ you talk about doesn’t just magically stop drama from being checked at the door. Imagine they break up and it was mutual, now you might have a hostile situation or a workplace with drama. Relationships can still happen on the down low but it’s generally just a bad idea to date in office. There are so many other people out there. Also think of the power imbalance or special treatment if they have different positions.

17. >surely it can’t be legal nor culturally acceptable for a company to
    control what their employees do on their spare time or who they’re with?

    Of course it is. For example if you found out a person that works for you likes to torture puppies and uses the wages you pay him to run dog fighting rings, wouldn’t you like to be able to fire him? A business relationship is just like other relationships – if you don’t want to associate with somebody, you shouldn’t have to.

18. Most large companies discourage managers or supervisors from having any serious relationships with their reports. In these litigious times if a relationship goes sour, an employee could allege sexual harassment on the part of the manager and both the manager and company could be named as defendants in a lawsuit.

19. It is legal for employers to ban relationships, however very, very few companies actually have a blanket policy banning relationships.

    What is common is to ban personal relationships between manager and employee. Sexual harassment is illegal in the US and one of the forms of sexual harassment is “quid pro quo” harassment. Basically, it’s the old “if you sleep with me you’ll get a promotion” scenario. Banning romantic relationships between manager and employees is a way to lessen the harassment risk. Not to mention the drama that comes along with it.

    Some companies also require disclosure of romantic relationships if there is a conflict of interest as well.

    One thing to keep in mind with American employment law (and perhaps American law in general), is that typically things are legal unless there is a law prohibiting it. And employers often have to balance out risk. In this scenario, there is a law prohibiting harassment and there is no law stating that companies can’t prohibit romantic relationships, companies will ban manager-employee relationships to manage risk.

20. Coworkers or people in different departments can usually date. If there is a power embalance due to someone being a supervisor or in a position of authority then one of the partners is usually moved to a different department. My partner works for the largest employer in town so there’s obviously overlap. There are 3 separate buildings/campuses and usually one spouse works in one building and the other will be at the other.

    It protects the company. But it protects the people in the relationship, too. Power embalances in a relationship can be very bad. It creates the potential for abuse and control. Removing the unprofessional relationship/sexual element from the professional realm ensures professional conduct is kept, and it gives the subordinate partner a safe place to land where they would still have their job if they need to leave the relationship.

21. Supervisors to employees yes, employee to employee no

22. > surely it can’t be legal nor culturally acceptable for a company to control what their employees do on their spare time or who they’re with

    Companies don’t control or “ban” this. You are free to have a relationship with whomever you like.

    The company *can* damn well decide how they choose to employ you or the role you have as a function of who you’re romantically involved with. If someone were to disclose that they’re in a romantic relationship with a subordinate that’d be a conflict of interest and it’d be totally fair to move people to different roles as a result.

23. Yes, this is common. And it’s not just “what their employees do on their spare time,” because a person is not only in a relationship when they’re not at work. A conflict of interest in the workplace, or even merely the appearance of one, can create massive liability within a corporation.

24. At worst they will be reassigned to different locations if it’s a big company. Small businesses don’t care. My boss’s step dad is one of the field crew he manages.

25. It’s a legal liability from the companies perspective if a worker is romantically involved with a subordinate. If a worker is fired for being bad they might sue and argue they were fired due to the relationship or something like that. Even if the company wins the legal case, they still would need to spend money and time on litigation. Better to have policies that minimize that cost from the companies perspective.

    For the employee you run the risk of being retaliated against if you end a relationship with your boss or something and if they are smart that can be hard to legally prove to win damages.

    In both cases probably best avoided for all parties.

26. The reason that relationships between some employees are restricted is because it’s too easy for them to conspire together to defraud the company. Smaller companies might have a policy of not hiring any relatives of existing employees; larger companies may have a restriction of not working on the same team as or not being in a position where you are not related to anybody who is in your reporting/supervision relationship, but you can work at different locations or in different types of areas.

    But honestly, having an intimate relationship with someone you work with can be extremely awkward if you break up, so it’s not generally a good idea.

27. My company discourages it, but it’s technically allowed as long as one isn’t the other’s manager/supervisor/etc.

    There’s a reason for the phrase “Don’t fish in the company pond” though. It rarely ends well.

28. It’s not encouraged. Companies don’t like to have a wife or husband working in the same dept, fears of favoritism. I work for a state agency, if my wife was to start working there, they’d make sure we’d be in different departments. I couldn’t interfere with the hiring process or ask the person interviewing her anything.

29. I remember at an old job there were several couples but one was kept a “secret” because of there being a power dynamic involved. The other was out in the open because both were at the bottom of the pyramid and on equal footing so no one cared. The first couple did eventually get caught by admin and one of them left so it wouldn’t be a problem.

30. Yes.

    In fact, when I worked at Bass pro, one of the team leads in customer service was in a relationship with one of his subordinates and he kept scheduling her to work with him. The management eventually found out and move her to a different department which she left soon afterwards because she hated it.

    Conflict of interest is a serious concern. You don’t want someone in a position of power in a relationship with someone under their authority.