I was dating a girl in my friends circle. We came pretty close but did not get physical with each other. For some reasons, she did not want to continue what we had. Everyone knows about it but now I’m invited to the wedding and I dont wosh to go. I feel its about my self respect and going there would make me feel isolated from everyone.

31 comments

  1. Be honest. Tell them you wish them all the best but don’t feel comfortable going.

    Either that or tell them you have whooping belch.

  2. Don’t go?

    i don’t understand how this is even thing. Like, you don’t want to go, so… don’t.

  3. Since the invite is clearly an act of war, you might as well show up and make things as uncomfortable as possible! 😁

  4. “Hey just wanted to congratulate you on your big day. I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it but I wish you and x all the best!”

    You don’t really need to explain yourself. If they demand an answer you could tell them the truth (that you don’t feel comfortable attending given your past) or thank them for the invitation and make up a lie, like you’ve got another important event on that day or something.

  5. Just don’t go. Perhaps she felt compelled to invite you to not make you feel excluded from the friend group. Look at it from her perspective, if she doesn’t invite you it’s like saying you’re not friends, or that she feels some kind of way about your past, either way it’s a bad look for her, if she does then it puts it all on you to behave properly. Just say “thank you for the invite, and congratulations.” If you’re don’t feel it’s appropriate, don’t go. But I advise you it’s not a good look for you as it makes it seem like you’re still hung up on her. Go for the ceremony, wish them the best and then duck out as soon as it’s over, skip the reception. Or stay and bang a couple of her bridesmaids. Lol

  7. If you’re single, ask to see photos of the maid of honour.

    That’ll kill the invite AND NO HARM DONE.

    😉

  8. Here is an advice for YOU: I think you should go and sleep with one of her bridesmaid. Make the wedding about you rather than about her.

  9. It depends on how close you were. But I’ll attend. Hey, free food! You can be there without them knowing anyway.

  10. You can easily politely decline and not say anything. No need to make a big fuss.

    She’s obviously moved on and feels comfortable enough to invite you. Doesn’t mean you have to be in the same place

  13. “Oh shit it’s wedding season, and I said yes to another one the same weekend”

  15. “Yo, bro. I fucked your fiancĂ©e at one point you want me to go to the wedding?”

    Simple, either you get a laugh or punch.

  16. “Thank you for the invitation, but I can’t attend.” There, simple and easy.

    This is their day, its not about you.

  17. Weddings are are dumb game where they don’t want you to come but have to invite you so they’re not rude and you don’t want to go but have to come so you’re not rude.

  18. The wedding usually has a specific provision for this – when you go, there’s a part where they ask if anyone objects. You can stand and say you don’t think they should get married because – and you need to use this exact phrase – “we dated for a little while but I never got my dick in her, and I’d like to keep the option open.”

    If they try to continue the ceremony, you are justified in challenging her fiancée to a duel for behaving dishonorably.

    Or
 recognize that the fiancĂ©e is now part of your friend group and you’re likely going to have to either get over that one girl you dated for a little while or leave the friend group.

  19. You don’t need the last bit.

    If you don’t want to attend a wedding / marriage… then just don’t. End of story.

  20. First off, you’re not obligated to go to anything you’re invited to. I’m not sure what the internal struggle is with that. Are you afraid your friends will think less of you? I’m curious though, who invited you? I’m assuming the bride? Does the future husband know you dated his wife? That could be fun…lol. Just skip it. Go enjoy the day to yourself.

  21. Suck it up or don’t go? Easy. If you’re actually a “friend” get over being dumped and support your friend. The day is about her, not about your self respect.

  23. Don’t go and please God do not decline in dramatic fashion. Just politely decline and wish them well.

  24. Just decline the invitation and don’t go. What is your issue here?

    If she asks why just say someone has a birthday that you attend. At least this is the excuse I get all the time.

  28. If you are unable to handle it, you don’t go and you deal with any repercussions to your friendships that follow. Your friends probably expect that you can put it behind you and still show up. But they should also understand if you feel weird about it and you don’t want to go.

    Like I said, there could be repercussions, like the rest of your friends assuming you are still pining away for your friend’s wife.

  29. She doesn’t want you to go. She was just being nice. She expects a polite decline.

  30. Lol… Don’t do it. I once attended the wedding of a former “situationship”. It was too much for me. I spent the whole ceremony with a tight chest, fighting back hot tears. And it wasn’t because I still had feelings for him. It was just the realisation that he was practically engaged to her during our thing.

    This girl, she knows she never gave you closure and left you with questions. You’re over it now and it’s all good… but you don’t have to prove that by attending the wedding. You don’t owe her that.

  31. RSVP: “Can’t attend – best wishes!”

    Or grow a pair, attend, and hook up with a bridesmaid.

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