Tldr: I told my spying girlfriend I didn’t like her spying on the young neighbors and making every attempt to be seen by them and she got mad. Now I feel like a controlling boyfriend.
We’ve been together for a year and a half and the relationship has been going pretty good. About 6 months ago we had new neighbors move in. One directly across the street from us and one next to us. I started noticing a pattern almost immediately. My girlfriend started propping a couple of blinds open to make sure to have a view of their houses and positions herself on the sofa so she has clear view. One has a sports car and when she hears him drive up she makes a point to go outside and do anything, take the trash out,clean out her car, yardwork. These are things she never did before and acted like she needed me to do those things. Just testing her reaction I’ve asked if she needed help with anything when she’s going outside and she tells me she doesn’t need any help and she has it. It’s ridiculously obvious but I’ve kept this to myself until recently. I didn’t want to sound like a jealous or controlling boyfriend but I do have feelings and being in my mid forties I’ve seen all the yellow/ red flags.
Honestly it’s the sneaky and obsessive behavior that’s getting to me.
I finally opened up to her about it and the shit hit the fan. She said it was all in my head .She said she was just trying to do more without bothering me for help.
I felt gaslighted and now I’m questioning myself. Since then though the few blinds that she flipped to spy on the neighbors aren’t flipped anymore. Yard duties are mine again and she is back to her old ways but I’m left feeling like an ass for even having to point out how all of that made me feel.
Did I cross the line?
7 comments
She’s gaslighting you, and she’s probably sexually attracted to the man in the sports car. I’m a nosey neighbor, but definitely don’t go out of my fucking way to be seen or stalk people. That’s gross behavior I’d leave that relationship 🤨
Bro she is trying to fuck your neighbor. Am I alone on this one?
Put the hoe to work when she is outside.
Tell her the beds need weeding, and give her the lawn mower.
>Did I cross the line
No
I hoped she’d just be a curtain twitcher but she definitely had some form of mini crush going on here.
As she appears to have cut it all out now, its up to you what you do but she definitely tried to avoid the truth, be that through embarrassment/shame or because she’s shady only you can decide.
Me, I’d probably go back to normal so the issue seems over to her, then side eye the fuck out of her actions for a bit, as i’d do one strike but no more for this. If i saw any sniffing around another/same guy that would definitely be it.
I appreciate all of your advice and comments from brutal truth to comical 💯
So your GF is trying to meet the new neighbors and perhaps went about it in a somewhat sneaky way. You asked why and she gaslighted back – probably because she was embarrassed. That doesn’t seem to be a big deal unless you have some reason to distrust her intentions – do you ? Perhaps you guys need some more excitement in your lives if this is/was the best part of her day. Go over there with your wife and introduce yourselves to the neighbors so you can get introductions out of the way.
Ages of everyone involved?