We’ve been dating for three months and a couple nights ago we tried sex for the first time. It was my first time seeing her completely naked too. There were subtle signs that she was a little uncomfortable with being naked and having me see her like that.
I think her body is incredible and extremely attractive. But while I was pleasuring her, she finally revealed that she didn’t think she was gonna be able to orgasm bc she kept thinking abt her body. I stopped everything and tried to comfort her and ask her questions abt what was going on. I do think it’s also worth noting that it was her first sexual experience w another person.
We both want to try again, but I just am not rly sure how I can ease her mind and make her relax. The obvious answer is therapy, and if this continues to be a problem in her sex life, she needs to go. But I feel like there must be a way for her to enjoy it even w/o that. She’s able to orgasm when she’s by herself. I’m just concerned bc I just want her to feel comfortable in her own body and enjoy herself. And I want to do everything I can to help her feel better abt the situation.
Does anyone w any experience w BDD have any tips or advice? This is my first time encountering it and I’m not sure how to deal w it in a relationship
Tl;dr: My gf has body dysmorphia and had trouble reaching orgasm bc of it. How can I help her?
4 comments
Well you can always have her masturbate with a blindfold, or in front of a webcam. Just to get her used to the idea of someone watching her, seeing her orgasm. You don’t even have to actually be there when she does it or be watching on the cam. I’d recommend the blindfold tho. Usually we kinda hate videos pic and mirrors. It’s annoying because it flattens a 3d person, into a 2d image. I’ve got a little bit of body dysmorphia, not so much that it’s a disorder, but I’m just like the kind of person who looks good IRL but like cryptid in photography.
Actually she might feel more comfortable if you wore a blindfold the next time.
OK, look, we don’t need to immediately label everything and jump right to therapy.
Being uncomfortable being naked around someone for the first time is perfectly normal, and feeling uncomfortable in general with your body is also fairly normal. There’s a reason why every fitting room in a store and every shower in a gym is a closed off private space — because people generally feel self-conscious and don’t want to be out in public when naked/exposed. That doesn’t make it “body dysmorphia”, and it doesn’t mean she needs therapy. She probably just needs to keep trying and get used to it, as this is all new for her.
You can help her by giving her compliments, turning down the lights when you’re naked together, or staying under the covers. Maybe she would prefer to wear a t-shirt if that helps.
Like one of the other comments mentioned, it’s not exactly BDD. Just being the first time revealing your body to someone can be embarrassing and if she feels insecure, that’s perfectly normal too. I’d just suggest try to complement her more on her appeal, make her feel like you genuinely feel like you love her and her body and if she’s that reluctant about you seeing her the next time, I’d suggest maybe bring up a blind fold that way she doesn’t have be so insecure of you eyeballing her
Depending on what parts of the body she’s uncomfortable with there are many types of lingerie that cover large areas of the body but are still very pretty.