F33 been with my partner 8 years M38 we have always had a good sex life and had sex no less than 4 times a week. In the past there has been infidelity on his part (nothing physical) but the intent was there I believe but I just happend to find out before it got that far. Fast forward we got engaged and since the password on his phone has never changed he has always spent all of his free time with me so I know there’s nobody else but but something he never did was watch porn now I’m seeing it in his search history regularly at thr time he gets up in the morning before me so I’m still in bed now I’d have no issue with that as I watch porn too but it seems to be haveing a huge impact on our sex life in that 9/10 he rejects me. I have never once denied him of sex I’m aware I have a higher sex drive than him but something has definitely changed. I’ve even tried out his fantasies with him of me being more dominating etc and particular fetishes that was good for a while but the things he’s watching arnt anything we haven’t already done or anything I wouldn’t do he knows I’m very open about thease things and wouldn’t judge him so yeh I just don’t understand. I’ve tried to talk to him about it in everyday possible and he ither tells me he’s just tired and stressed or denies that anything has changed or point blank refuses to speak to me and changes the subject its makeing me feel so dismissed and is realy effecting my confidence. Now he just says I’m obsessed and everything is about sex but it’s realy not I just know something has changed and he’s denying even watching porn or mastbateing when the proof is there he still Denies it. He doesn’t have issues with ED as far as I know but I’ve noticed the odd time we do have sex he is lasting alot longer and we always used to cum at the same time now sometimes he doesn’t acauly finish after I have. Does anyone have any advice? This is realy hurting me
2 comments
Because of the Internet porn has become a growing addiction issue, and the more the guys do it the less their sexual desire is. Watching it as a couple to stir things up as one thing, but your boyfriend has probably stepped into addiction mode. It will kill a man’s libido. It’s almost like they can’t have sex. They can only have porn sex.
My take is the porn is a symptom of what’s going on with your intimacy rather than the cause. Intimacy can be affected by the connection between individuals in a relationship and sex can drop off or change as a result. Look elsewhere in your relationship or in his emotional life as a whole. Are you stressing about the wedding? Are there disagreements about money or your future? Does he have added stress at work or challenges with family? If any of that stuff is going on, address that first.
Also, people can watch porn for a lot of reasons and the specific things they watch are not always indicative of a proclivity for that kink or kind of sex. Don’t assume if he watches another kind of porn that he wants that in his regular sexual relationship with you.