(19 F) met this guy ( 25M) on a dating app. I wanted to let go a little, and I was pleasantly happy when we had great conversations by text. After a week, we decided to meet and grab a coffee. The date was nice, and the conversation was flowing. We continued to talk and wanted not to move too fast. After two months, we decided to see if we were compatible sexually. We smoked weed, and things started off great. At one point, he was on top of me with his hands on my mouth and asked me if I liked that. I shook my head to say no and burst into tears. He got off me quickly and said, ” You didn’t tell me shit.” I told him I was sorry and was fine so we could continue. He became very cold with me, and I felt like shit ( and still do) for ruining the moment. I put my clothes back on and told him that he did not do anything wrong and that I was fine. He very coldly to me to be safe, and I left.
It’s been a week, and I thought that time would make my emotions clearer, but it didn’t. I texted him that I was doing good and asked if we were ok. I felt sick to my stomach when he told me, “We are not compatible.” I contently feel bad for ruining it, but also extremely angry at how he reacted. I still blame myself and crave him for reasons I don’t know. I really don’t know how to process all that, and he is cold to me and won’t talk.
5 comments
Fuck that guy.
You told him no, and he decided to act like a spoiled titty baby.
You owe him absolutely nothing. He’s a crappy lover and should be offering you the apologies.
You don’t do those things without having some discussions or at least hints/flirting that implies you enjoy that kind of thing. I say this as a man who is into BDSM. If it wasn’t made explicit, I would start with dirty talk that gives them a chance to preview what I want to do, and gives them a chance to say nope.
It sounds like he wants someone young who won’t say no, considering how poorly he handled your no. Bullet dodged
You don’t seem to be looking at this the right way. He did something you were uncomfortable with and then got mad at you for expressing it in an emotional way which was probably all you could do atm. It’s kind of a sign he’s either a player or an a****** maybe both And neither one of those make him a good potential partner. From my point of view you dodged a bullet here. Find someone who’s comfortable with your preferences and pace.
You dodged a bullet. No means no, and he acted like you were in the wrong. He did not respect your boundaries. Better to find out this early than to get stuck with the a$$hole in a relationship.
the dude is a prick, you dodged a bullet. block him