For some context. We’ve been dating since December, from the beginning we talked just being friends with benefits. Obviously feelings have been growing since then. We originally decided to be FWB because she wanted kids and I didn’t. Over time I’ve grown and decided that she is a partner that I want to have kids with (I know this is confusing for her). She told me a couple months ago that she started talking to someone else but they live outta state. So she basically wants me to choose how we break up, either cold turkey or slowly end it.
Thing is we’re basically boyfriend/girlfriend without the label. So it’s hard for both of us. It’s hard for her to overcome the fact that we initially were FWB and can’t get over the hump to be official. I am completely torn and 1 don’t want to end things. What do I do? I just need a voice of reason and some support. Do we break up cold turkey, slow or try to fix things?
Edit: I’m getting a bunch of comments but I’m not seeing them. So I apologize in advance if I don’t respond to them. Not sure what’s up!
7 comments
I dunno, even if there is a way to save your relationship, the fact that she completely shut you down and moved on… isn’t that pretty demoralizing for any future prospects? Is that the woman you feel deserves to bear your children?
In your shoes, albeit for probably petty reasons, I’d have expedited that breakup real quick. Someone who plays with you like that should move on.
>So she basically wants me to choose how we break up, either cold turkey or slowly end it.
two options. Well really one..
>Do we break up cold turkey, slow or try to fix things?
somene is inserting a third option the other person doesn’t want….so my advice is to listen to your fuck buddy and pick one of the two options she is presenting..break up now or be her sidepiece for awhile, while she transitions to someone who wants what she wants. Not sure why you are inserting a third option. Only you want that. Now in reality you cant break up since you are nothing more than friends that fuck. There is no committed relationship, just two people fuck till someone better comes along. Sadly for you, someone better came along.
My second piece of advice is dont get into FWB situations in the first place. It ends poorly for the most part.
Have you actually told her how you feel now? What you want with her?
Do you genuinely want a relationship? The full shabang??
you’re both 30, so grow tf up.
Just block each other and move on.
You end it completely and immediately.
If she realizes that she misses you then she will reach out and change her mind. You have a leverage and a position to push the relationship forward. Or find someone else.
Slow end? It means you aren’t chosen but a place holder. You provide attention for free until she gets what she wants from someone else. You are warming her up for someone else. Pointless.
“I don’t want to be a place holder I am in love with you, want kids, the whole 9 yards, I think it’s best we break up immediately I’m going to block you for a while to get over my feelings don’t reach out if I believe I can see you platonically as a friend one day I will reach out. Thanks for the memories but I have to do this for me.