I(19M) am going through this phase of my life of trying to figure out how to socialize with others. During my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I interacted with a decent amount of people, but I was super anxious and didn’t interact with people in a confident, assertive, and outgoing manner. That changed during my junior and senior years of high school. Introspecting myself during quarantine and improving my mental health, as well as getting my first job, helped me to become socially outgoing. But sometimes, the joyfulness and happiness I portrayed was just an act, because in certain moments, I didn’t feel happy or jolly, I really felt annoyed because whoever was talking to me wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone lol. One thing I’ve realized about myself is I can’t stand small talk, AT ALL. And now being in college, living in a dorm with people who aren’t necessarily my friends, who are acquaintances at best, has caused me to be so burned out socially. I like to socialize with people, but I only care to discuss things that are meaningful to me. I like getting to know new people, but would much rather go the route of cutting the crap and talking about meaningful stuff, but I know that small talk is required to a certain extent. So my question is how should I go about socializing and meeting new people? Can I limit the small talk most people are used to, and try talking about substantial things, or go with a different approach?
1 comment
I have gone through a similar transformation from being socially anxious to being outgoing.
What I noticed is that what you find meaningful might not be meaningful to others. It’s just that you will find people with similar interests and that’s when you start having meaningful convos.
And it’s totally fine to limit small talk if you wish to. But I feel if you just stop acting to be joyful when actually you’re feeling annoyed then that itself will make the other person understand that you’re not really interested and might leave you alone.