How do you ask someone visiting you to leave politely?

19 comments

1. Say something like, “Well, I have to start cooking dinner now”. Any sane person would get the message.

2. Trust yourself enough to say “OK, I need to decompress now, if you’re ready to go”

3. My grandma taught me to start cleaning up. If you were eating something, clean plates and what not. It works.

4. I would say that I have a lot to do today and that I need to get it done today

5. Mention the time and say you have a lot of work to do tomorrow. If they don’t get the cue you can ask them to leave and still be polite.

   In my opinion best way to deal with this situation is by clearly stating how long you will expect them to stay at you. You can say you have a busy schedule and only afford to spend that much time.

6. Thanks for visiting, give my regards to your family

7. If you’re from the midwest US, you slap your hands on your thighs and say “Welp” as you stand up. The other person/people will automatically stand up too.

8. You need to initiate a transition to the “good bye” part of the visit. (Assuming you mean someone has just stopped by.)

   “Well, this has been fun. Let’s make plans to (do something in the future)”. Using past tense “has been” indicates this part of the visit is over.

   If they don’t get the hint you need to go further and say something like, “It’s getting late. I need to (whatever you need to do–get up early, pick up the kids, etc.)”.

   If you don’t like them and don’t want to see them again, you have to be more blunt. “I’m glad we were able to meet up, but (reason you don’t want to see them again).”

   If you mean someone that is living with you, but they are not on the lease/mortgage you need to just say the situation isn’t working for you and they need to be out by (date/time). If they refuse, especially if you are nervous or afraid of them, you can involve law enforcement. I would use this as a last resort and only if you are in fear for your safety.

9. I had problems with an ex-friend with this. Nothing polite would work. Ugh. So I would always have plans to leave the house at a certain time when I was with her. “Hate to kick you out, but I have to go. I’ve driven away and come back home! Now we’re just not friends. I gave up.

10. I think the least awkward thing you can do is be really direct about it and act like it’s not awkward. So maybe get up and just say “well it was so nice seeing you, I’ve got to do XYZ now so I’ll have to let you go now but lets plan something again!”

11. A friend once let us know by smilingly asking “Can I get you something else? Water, juice, your coats?” – but that was after it was alredy established that the visit had to end soon because of later plans. Had a good laugh and hopped off.

12. It depends. If we are doing an activity I might say “so shall we round this up?” Or “How do you feel? Are we satisfied with xyz for today?” And then add how its been alot of fun and talk about the next time we want to meet up.

    If they are over for dinner and its getting late I might mention my daughters bed time and how we must meet soon again.

    I have also told someone something along “Sorry to be a bore but Im getting pretty tired, should we continue another time?”

13. Go get changed for bed and come out in your pajamas yawning.

14. “Get tf out, *respectfully*” 🙏

15. I would say it depends who the person is.

    A casual friend – “I hate to kick you out, but I have to jump in the shower then start getting supper ready.” Follow up with “Thanks for stopping by! It was a lovely visit.”

    A really close friend – “Well I’m going for a nap. See ya later.”

16. England: Slap hands on thighs and say “Right”.

17. As someone who’s over-polite and conflict averse: “We need to do this again! When are you free next? Alright see you then!” while cleaning up.

    Or: “Wow, look at the time! I’ll let you get to the rest of your night.” if you just want to shoo them out the door.

    If they’re dense and don’t take the hint, pretend to take a phone call and say “I’m so sorry, it’s my sister and she needs to vent. But we’ll do this again!” And then ad lib sympathies until your visitor leaves.

    Or you can do what I’ve never been able to and be charming but direct. I have an uncle who just slaps his thighs, stands up, and says “well you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here!” and then hugs everyone goodbye. I’ve never seen a more effective maneuver.

18. ‘It’s been so lovely to see you! Really hope we can do it again soon, and really sorry to ask you to leave just now but I’ve got to go do x’

19. My roommate tells people “well, I’m glad you got to see me, but I’m sick of lookin’ at ya!” I don’t advise this, even though most people just laugh at him.

    I tell people “I’ve gotta get to __________. It was great seeing you! Let me know when you get home safely.” (even if that thing is just relaxing on my own time).