We’ve been together for like 8 years, we fuck a lot and we enjoy each other a lot. Our sex life is great but i want to explore the possibility of making it better and i realized that we’re like 90% vanilla, the other 10% being some dirty sex.
So i want to get into some fetishes but she doesn’t like to talk about it that much, she’s kind of shy about sexual matters.
4 years ago or so we were watching a movie and we had a fight, she was very mad at me and i kept watching the movie. Later on she was lying on her stomach still angry and i started caressing her to calm her down, but she was still angry, i would then move on to touch her butt and she would allow it for a bit then she would take my hands off of her without saying anything. We kept doing that and she would let me touch her more and more time before taking my hands off. I realized that she was angrily horny lol, so i hopped onto her, pulled her panties down and started stroking my penis with her cheeks until she was wet and then i fucked her super hard and rough. She would from time to time fake like she was trying to take me off from her but she never said a word. After we came she kissed me and hugged me a lot and she was supper happy. As the years passed she would often recall how that session was one of the best times we’ve had sex.
Like one year ago we were in our room with the lights off and about to sleep but i was very horny so i asked if we could have a quickie, she said she wasn’t in the mood and then jokingly said “but i want to sleep like this” and she pulled her panties down. I asked something and she jokingly said “i’m already sleeping” so i hopped onto her and i fucked her super hard lol she loved it. A couple of weeks ago she did that “i’m sleeping” again.
She wouldn’t talk about it if she was into rape or free use. So why do i make out of those insinuations? Ask her is not an option, if i acknowledge that with words i’m pretty sure she is not gonna feel confident to let herself go again about it.
I know rape play is something to be really careful with and to be very explicit with boundaries but she would never talk about it. Im not really into that but i want to fulfill her needs. What do i do? How can i start it so i can test if she actually likes it to keep doing it but without talking about it? She has never expressed fetishes or explicit sexual desires so i really want to please her with this.
I would really really appreciate your help guys.
7 comments
So she’s shy about her kinks, maybe. But this was her idea. So maybe just allow her the space to become comfortable with sharing her turn ons with you. Or baby steps when she plays the “sleeping” game again. If she usually makes noise, gently 😂 demand her to keep quiet. If she touches you usually, gently 😂 hold her wrists and keep her from touching you. Tip toe towards being more and more dominant with her. But watch those reactions. Any sign of trouble….bail out!
She may also subtly be trying to show submissiveness and wanting you to be dominant about it and using her when you are in the mood. Has she shown any interest in any other aspects of bdsm other than this one?
Get her to do the bdsm test and see what results she gets.
https://bdsmtest.org/info
You need to protect yourself and herself.
1) get a safe word so if you ever misinterpret she has an out
2) ideally have her use a bracelet or something, when she has it it means she is open to this kind of play, this way she doesn’t have to be as obvious in her moves and it will seems more natural and probably more enjoyable for her
This doesn’t really seem like it’s full on r*peplay, I think it’s more that she’s into you being so turned out that you can’t control yourself from taking her. There is a little flavor of non-consent into how the two of you are playing, but it doesn’t seem like the focus.
That said it doesn’t seem like you two are going to have any explicit conversations about this, so there’s an extra burden on you to be extra mindful of yourself when playing like this. I would know, there’s an extra delight to sex when there’s a little conflict. If she’s playfully saying no, it’s lots of fun to ignore that no when she wants. But just watch out for when she really means no, because once you cross that boundary of doing something she doesn’t want it’s hard to gain that trust back again. You might not have any explicit conversations about the kind of sex you’re having, but you should start one about how she can say “no” and mean it. It could just be the color red. Tell her if you’re having rough sex and she actually wants to stop something, then she should say “red” as a hard no. And ya’ll should do little drills/games to enforce that. Do some light touching where you ignore her every time she says “no,” but every time she says “red” you stop immediately. That way both of you can get used to hearing/saying red as a hard stop to whatever your doing.
She may just be submissive and shy about talking about it with you. If she didn’t want to shed use her words and tell you no or push you away. I have this same kink lol 🤣
It’s not easy to just flat out be like I like this cause most people find it weird or like will look at you like you have some problem or trauma issue. But, flat out it’s just super sexy. I’d just keep doing it and go with the flow. When she’s ready to open up she’ll do it on her own and I wouldn’t force it. If you force it she may just lock things up more and get more uncomfortable with it.
You could tell her what your fantasy is and then go from there.
Ask her friend.