Okay so I 40f, like anal sometimes. It’s strange because me and my man will be going at it and he will slip his fingers in my ass and I love when he finger fucks my ass. Hard soft doesn’t matter I love it , But I don’t know if it’s me in my mind or what but he likes using a dildo on me and often wants to do so anal. Well the problem is it hurts a lot. I only let It happen for like a min before I ask him to stop.
We used lube but I’m not sure if it’s the right kind. The dildos are soft skin like. But it’s strange because I love when he inside me and we do anal. It’s just with toys. Am I using the right kind, is there some kind of mindset I have to be in lol. I’m tried of the pain when I only want pleasure.
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Yes there are lots of dildos specifically for anal in various materials.Yours is probably too girthy. Try One like this with some thick anal specific lube or coconut oil
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/glass-dildos/p/lovehoney-beaded-sensual-glass-dildo-7-inch/a30946g52508.html
Some toy materials are ones that really disagree with sensitive bodyparts/people. Unless you know it’s made of proper high quality silicone, it shouldn’t go up the butt (or the vagina either for that matter)
The sex toy market is a circus, and many materials they use to make sex toys are banned from being used in children’s toys due to unsafe chemicals that shouldn’t enter the body. If it’s not safe to put in your mouth, I kinda doubt it’s safe to put it anywhere else inside your body either.
(Might be you already knew this, but I like to splat it out as often as I can in case someone who *didn’t* know comes along.)
As for lube, many kinds are pretty sketchy and not compatible with human genital pH or containing irritatong ingredients. If you haven’t done so already, I would recommend trying virgin coconut oil as lube. If that can’t be done due to using toys and/or condoms, the Sliquid brand of water-based lubes are really good.
Oh okay you see weve only been with each other no one else since we were kids. So I just assumed the lube was lube. Any would work. .I’m glad I found this thread . I’m completely lost without it lol
U r F40 and like anal…? Doing anal ….use gel or spitting ?
Doing anal you do proper doggy style pose….?
A few years ago I had a surgery on my back door lol. Do I thought I never could have anal again, because it hurt like hell. But I had a partner once who was very careful. He started out with one finger and slowly stretched, then added a second one stretched again and then a third one. I didn’t even realize it, if just felt good and s little more intense. When he asked me to go in with his D I said it will hurt. He told me I have three fingers in, I was so surprised. When he got in it didn’t hurt at all. So for me it’s preparation what’s important. Take your time
This is a copy/paste of a How To that I wrote a few years ago. Give it a read, and let me know if it’s helpful:
For anal to work, you as the receiver need to be psychologically and physiologically receptive and ready for it.
First and foremost, pay close attention to the warmup (him eating your ass, playing with it during PIV, worshiping it in general). Notice what your butt has to say about the matter. Is it clamped shut and not cooperative? No anal for you! Not that session anyways. Does your butt relax and accommodate? Maybe anal. Is your ass not only accommodating, but enthusiastically receptive? It’s time to see if you can give it what it really wants!
Assuming that your ass is giving you the enthusiastic signal to go for it, get into doggy style position, slanting towards a more face down, ass up posture. This is a good place to start, as it shifts the most of the weight and pressure of your internal organs to your abdominal wall, and away from your pelvic floor. It’s a subtle thing, but helps reduce any indirect internal pressure that could work against your immediate goals.
Have him get behind you, and have him grab his cock such that he gives you access to the head of his cock, and maybe an inch or an inch and a half of shaft. His job is to assist with aim and alignment, but to otherwise hold still.
Your job is to back that ass up, in exactly the manner that it demands at the moment. If you need to have the head of his cock just knock at the entrance repeatedly, but stay outside, then bounce on his dick at the exact force and speed that meets that need. Need the head of his dick to just open the back door, peek in, then slowly back out? Do that. Do that repeatedly. Need to just grind on it and “threaten” to swallow it with your ass (but otherwise not let it in much at all)? Do that! Basically, let your ass dictate exactly what’s up, and let it take all the time it wants.
There’s really only two rules with what I’ve described above. One, listen to your ass. It has the first, last, and only word on if its gonna be go time or not. He doesn’t decide. You don’t decide. Your ass decides. Two, his job is to hold still, and let your ass do all the work. He is helping by being supportive, and not pushy.
If and when it’s go time, invite the head of his cock, and a bit of his shaft in, and just hold him there until your ass says it’s ready. Then, and only then, consider backing up a bit more to take in a bit more. The rest is all about getting him in as deep as you want, and determining exactly how enthusiastic your ass is feeling about the whole scenario.
Once you’ve got a solid idea that everything is good, you’ve got the ability to take him all in, and your ass is hungry for it, then, and only then, let him start fucking your ass, at the exact depth, speed, and force that your ass wants. As always, listen to your butt, and discontinue at any point if it tells you to.
If you give the above a try, you should probably have way less discomfort in the beginning. I think it’s about taking control of the whole scene, and listening carefully to what your body is telling you.
Good luck, and hopefully this helps.
Edit: Since I didn’t mention it when I initially wrote this post, make sure you’re using lube, and plenty of it. A general rule of thumb is that too much lube is almost enough.