23F. I’m naturally pretty quiet and shy and I don’t know how to go about dating. I was in a long-term relationship from when I was 15 until I was 22 – I’d never been involved with anyone else (not even ‘talking stage’) prior to that relationship, the breakup was unexpected and it’s been tough to get over. I slept with one guy who I met on a night out not long after the breakup just because I knew that people say “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”, but he kind of took advantage of me which contributed to my apprehension about dating and I haven’t spoken etc to any guys since. But I liked being in a relationship and I miss that, so I think I feel ready to try to move on but I know what I’m like as a person: introverted, anxious, quiet, kind of closed-off. I also feel like I look better in pictures than I do irl, and I don’t really drink alcohol which is a big part of socialising. I don’t feel confident about meeting people from dating apps because I think I’d be a letdown.
The thing is I know that it isn’t that serious, that it should be fun, and that the only way to overcome this fear is to just do it, but knowing that doesn’t make anything any easier. I’ve always felt anxious in one-on-one conversations, meeting new people or going to unfamiliar places and dating involves all of these. I know my low confidence is another issue that I need to solve. Does anyone have any advice on overcoming this feeling?
1 comment
Socialize in the daytime.
Try out some hobbies and interests that gather in a group or a crowd. People are more chatty and approachable when they’re already having fun. Even you.