My partner (25M) and me (22F) have been dating for 1 1/2 years so far. He moved in with me at the beginning because his job was closer to my place and we wanted to see each other often.
His hunt for a new job prompted him with a job near his place, being a 1 1/2 hour drive from the job to me. I encouraged him to take it, as it’s difficult for him to find a job despite me not being happy with it.
I have a job with my family and am torn between leaving for my relationship and staying for the job, as I have options there that I might not have elsewhere.
We sadly can’t really figure the situation out, he just started the new job and fears that he won’t be accepted anywhere else anytime soon. I don’t want to just throw away my chances and my family also pressures me into staying and forcing my boyfriend to stay here.
My family also worries about me moving away and something happening to me.
What can I do in this situation?
TL;DR Partner got a new job 1 1/2 hours away, my family wants me to stay in their business and I don’t know what to do. Any advice going forward?
4 comments
Choose yourself and what’s best for you.
What is your job, and what kind of growth can you expect?
You’re pretty young and you rushed your relationship. If you move, you might want to consider getting a place of your own or with a roommate, since you don’t seem 100% committed to this guy (which is understandable).
Personally, I would be inclined to investigate what options you do have elsewhere. You two felt it makes sense for him to be further away for abetter job opportunity. So, use the same logic for yourself. Whether you stay or move should depend on what job opportunities you have. But you won’t know until you see what you might be able to get in that area. If you can’t get something as good or better, then you two should see if you can make distance work until one of you can get a better job closer to the other person.
OK, so why can’t you move somewhere in the middle?
45 mins to his job. 45 mins to your job.
What *you* want is what matters most here and it sounds like you have no idea. So that’s what you need to work out.
One option might be to start job hunting where he is. If you get a job you’re excited about there, that‘s a very different situation from moving out with no plan for how to support yourself in a new place. You don’t have to take the first job you’re offered but the process of beginning a job search may help you better understand your options.